What Can You Achieve When You Really Believe?

What can you do when you really want to?

Anything.

Yes, I said anything. Nothing is too big. But it helps to take it one step at a time.

Over three decades ago, 16-year old Jadav “Molai” Payeng came across a swarm of dead snakes washed onto a bare sandbar in a flood India’s Assam region. “The snakes died in the heat, without any tree cover. I sat down and wept over their lifeless forms,” Jadav.

Whereas most people would stop at the weeping (if they ever got even that far), Jadav didn’t stop there. Instead, he planted a tree. Then he planted another. And another. And he kept planting trees. The barren sandbar is now a thriving forest of 1360 acres – including such wildlife as rhinos,tigers, apes, elephants and deer. The Assistant Conservator of Forests, Gunin Saikia, believes this is the biggest forest in the middle of a river in the world.

Just one man planted every single tree. Each one from seed. Year after year.

He lives now in the forest that bears his name, selling cow and buffalo milk for a living. He moved in as a teenager so that he could oversee the project directly.

Singing Lessons Part III

We have a lesson to offer from the third of three songs our daughters performed at their singing lessons end-of-classes performance for parents and families.

Chantalyne sang “Chasse Galerie” by Claude Dubois. It is a song that demands a powerful voice. Unfortunately, as I mentioned in an earlier post, two days before the show we feared she would have to bow out, as her voice had not yet returned after a hacking cough that had commandeered much her past three weeks.

Her voice did return, although not quite as strong as normal and not quite as strong as it should have been for this number. Don’t get me wrong – she sang it very well and it was one of the better singing performances there. But it was not her best.

Nevertheless, her performance was riveting. And at the very end of the song, she delivered what we refer to as the “show stopper” moment.

There is more to everything than meets the eye. There is more to a great sports performance than just coming in first. How you play the game is just as important. How you behave off the field counts, too. How you treat other people. What else you do with your life.

And there is more to singing than just singing.

Watch the video and see why we call this such a show stopper. Then think about all the things you are trying to achieve in your life – land a new job or change careers, upgrade your home or move, build a new relationship or strengthen an old one – and figure out what other aspects you might be overlooking. What else goes into success besides the obvious? What else can you do that others won’t expect to add value? To catch their attention? To impress them? To win them over?

Lyrics to Chasse Galerie

À force de rester dans la forêt à s’ennuyer
Le diable est venu les tenter
Il fallait deux semaines
Quand la glace s’était en aller
En canot pour s’en retourner

C’était déjà l’hiver les grands froids
Nous mordait les pieds
Impossible de s’en aller

C’était déjà Noël le Nouvel An montrait son nez
Tous les hommes voulaient s’en aller
Le diable guettant comme un rapace son gibier
Vint leur offrir tout un marché

Dans un canot dans le plus grand que vous ayez
Installez-vous là sans bouger
Quand minuit sonnera ton canot d’un coup bougera
Il s’élèvera pour t’emporter
Mais si l’un d’entre vous après la fête terminée
Manque le bateau vous périrez

Et chez le grand Satan vous irez brûler ignorés
Ignorés pour l’éternité
Le canot s’éleva jusqu’au ciel ils furent emportés
Jusqu’à leur village tant aimé
Chacun revint une fois la fête terminée
Sauf le dernier sans y pensé
Posant le pied en embarquant s’est retourné
C’est retourné sans y penser

Alors le grand Satan dans un tourbillon de brasier
Tous et chacun à emporter
Le plus jeune d’entre eux
Le plus méfiant le plus peureux
Gardait comme un bijou précieux
Une prière à tuer les diables de la terre
Et quand il l’eut enfin citée
Comme des étoiles furent soudainement libérées
Devant leur cabane isolée

Singing Lessons Part II

In our last post, we pulled a lesson from Chantalyne’s opening number at the end-of-singing-lessons concert last week.

Part-way through, our younger daughter Lauralee sang “Si Dieux Existe” by Claude Dubois. Unlike our elder limelight-lover, Lauralee is shy of the spotlight. She has been dancing on stage for years, but always as part of a group. Singing on her own in front of a crowd? No thanks.

Really, no thanks. She did not even want to participate.

She loves to sing, usually half under her breath while playing with Barbie dolls. And she loves her singing lessons, but she had to be convinced to sing on a stage in front of strangers.

When she got up on stage, she was as nervous as most of the others, but once she started singing, she forgot the crowd and her angelic voice – yes, angelic as ever – came through with no nervousness or straining in it.

Yes, the lesson from this one is pretty predictable. If you overcome your fear, just do it anyway, you’ll be an angel. No, wait, that’s not quite the lesson. Face your fears and you will succeed. You can do it! Whatever your apprehensions, just do it anyway.

That’s the lesson.

(Sorry about the video – the camera was playing games, so we only have the second half of her performance recorded.)

Lyrics to Si Dieux Existe

Personne, il n’y a plus personne
Mon âme qui s’affole
En prenant son envol
Me laisse inanimé

Personne, j’ai besoin, j’ai personne
Mon être dégringole
Tous mes sens m’abandonnent
Je ne sais pas si j’ai peur
Je regarde d’en haut
Le corps de ton esprit
Nos visages à l’envers
Tout petit, tout petit

Refrain:
Si Dieu existe et qu’il t’aime
Comme tu aimes les oiseaux
Comme un fou, comme un ange
Tu peux marcher enfin sur les étoiles, aspiré
Comme un fou, comme un ange

Personne, il n’y a plus personne
Mon âme qui s’affole
En prenant son envol
Me laisse inanimé

Personne, j’ai besoin, j’ai personne
Mon être dégringole
Tous mes sens m’abandonnent
Je n’sais pas si j’ai peur
Tu regardes d’en haut
Le corps de ton Esprit
Nos visages à l’envers
Tout petit, tout petit

Refrain:
Si Dieu existe et qu’il t’aime
Comme tu aimes les oiseaux
Comme un fou, comme un ange
Tu peux marcher enfin sur les étoiles, aspiré
Comme un fou, comme un ange.

Singing Lessons Part I

Last week, my two daughters performed before the collected parents and families of their singing class at the Maison des Arts in Embrun. Thirteen kids ( 8-14 years old), one adult, eighteen songs, lots of fun.

And lessons, always lessons.

As I was playing back the video recordings we made, I realized there was a lesson to be learned from each of them. So there were lessons from these singing lessons.

In the video below, Chantalyne sings “Destin” by Celine Dion, the opening number at the show. It was a good choice to open with, because she got the crowd revved up – not that a crowd composed of the various singers’ families really needed revving up.

It was, in our opinion, the best singing performance of the evening. This is where you are supposed to nod your head wisely and say to yourself, “He will now lecture us on the virtues of hard work and perseverance and practice to achieve excellence.”

Well, not quite. You see, in the three-and-a-half weeks prior to the show, Chantalyne spent the first week and the third week sick, some of it with fever and all of it with a horrible, hacking, bronchial cough. In fact, two days before the show, we feared she would have to bow out, as her voice had not yet returned and the coughing continued only partially abated.

She really had very little time to practice.

But since you came here expecting a lecture on the virtues of hard work and perseverance to achieve excellence, who am I to disappoint? In fact, there was a lot of hard work building her voice up in general prior to getting sick, over a period of months. She took formal voice lessons twice a week. She practiced at home. She worked hard.

And once the fever was gone, she started to practice without her voice.  You see, there are three things a singer need to be able to deliver:

  • The words – she needs to know the lyrics backwards and forwards.
  • The timing – she needs to know exactly when to jump in (not a tenth of a second too soon or too late) and the exact pace to match the music.
  • The voice – she needs to be on-key for every note

So while still sick, she started working on the lyrics and on the timing under her breath. Yes, perseverance is worthwhile. Don’t let a little thing like a missing voice keep you from singing. Or crutches keep you from running. Or a poor memory keep you from whatever.  Figure out what you can do, and just start doing it.

Lyrics to Destin

Ya pas de voiles aux volets de mes frères
Ya pas d’opale autour de mes doigts
Ni cathédrale où cacher mes prières
Juste un peu d’or autour de ma voix.

Je vais les routes et je vais les frontières
Je sens, j’écoute et j’apprends je vois
Le temps s’égoutte au long des fuseaux horaires
Je prends, je donne avais-je le choix?

Refrain:
Tel est mon destin
Je vais mon chemin
Ainsi passent mes heures
Au rythme entêtant des battements de mon coeur.

Des feux d’été je vole aux sombres hivers
Des pluies d’automne aux été indiens
Terres gelées aux plus arides déserts
Je vais, je viens ce monde est mien

Je vis de notes et je vis de lumière
je virevolte à vos cris, vos mains
La vie m’emporte au creux de tous ses mystères
je vois dans vos yeux mes lendemains

Refrain:
Je vais les routes et je vais les frontières
Je sens, j’écoute et j’apprends je vois
Le temps s’égoutte au long des fuseaux horaires
Je prends, je donne avais-je le choix?

Je prends le blues aux signaux des répondeurs
Je prends la peine aux aéroports
Je vis l’Amour à des kilomètres ailleurs
Et le bonheur à mon téléphone.

Refrain:
Tel est mon destin
Je vais mon chemin
Ainsi passent mes heures
Au rythme entêtant des battements de mon coeur.

You Are Never Too Old

From the You Are Never Too Old Department…

A story that recently made it into pretty much every news outlet from Florida to Pakistan was how 80 year old Helen Collins remained calm as she made an emergency crash landing in Sturgeon Bay, Wisconsin. (It skidded down the runway for 1000 feet before coming to an abrupt halt.)

The Cessna her husband had been flying.

When he suffered a heart attack.

With one operating engine.

With barely enough fuel.

Her son, Richard, a trained pilot, guided his mother down from the control tower. “She was calmer than everybody on the ground. She had it totally under control,” Richard Collins said. “The amazing thing is she landed that plane on one engine – I don’t know if there are a lot of trained pilots that could do that. I already knew I lost my dad; I didn’t want to lose my mom. It could have been both of them at once.”

Yes, you can accomplish amazing things when you put your mind to it. Don’t sell yourself short.

Five Options for UK Divorce

If you feel that your marriage might be headed for a divorce, it is a wise idea to consult with a lawyer to find out what a divorce entails. UK attorney Irwin Mitchell (our guest blogger today) provides a variety of expertise in this area.

Unlike in America, a divorce can only be obtained in either England or Wales if you can prove your marriage has ended and cannot be repaired. A divorce petition can be filed through the court system. A couple must be married for at least one year and provide grounds for seeking the divorce. Your legal counsel can provide you with more specific information but there are generally five different grounds for divorce.

  1. Adultery can be grounds for divorce if you discover that your spouse has had an extramarital affair. The petition must be made within six months of learning about the affair for it to be valid.   In the UK, ancient history is, well, ancient history. The adultery must be proven or admitted to by the cheating party – so good luck if you have a stubborn spouse.
  2. A second ground for divorce would be unreasonable behaviour. This is typically the most used grounds for divorce. A lot of reasons fall into this category. Let’s face it, if you are prepared to divorce your spouse, chances are there has been behaviour that you find unreasonable.  Plus, this is the only one of the five grounds not encumbered by a time limitation that many people find challenging.  But best seek legal advice as to what the courts consider unreasonable..
  3. Desertion is another reason for divorce. While it’s not commonly used, your spouse must have abandoned you for at least two years. After this time period elapses, the deserted party can file for divorce.  Unlike with adultery, you have no choice but to wait on this one.  If your spouse returns after a year and a half, you cannot use this option (maybe try “unreasonable behaviour” above?)
  4. Separation is another reason that one can file for divorce. If the separation occurred for a minimum of two years, then this is known as an uncontested divorce.   Yes, more waiting, but that is the law.
  5. On the other hand, if your spouse does not want the divorce, you can file for divorce if you’ve lived apart for at least five years. This is referred to as a contested divorce.  And this obviously is likely to be a messy option – not to mention one that requires a lot of patience.

The legal ramifications of divorce are many. Legal advice can help guide someone through this difficult process.

This guest post was written by Irwin Mitchell, who also handles personal injury cases and many other services. Get in touch with them if you happen to live in England or Wales.  And remember that the rules are vastly different in different countries.

How Do You Fill Your Time?

Did you play with your kids yesterday? True, it was the middle of the week, and you did get home late from work, and there were so many things to do around the house.

It is so easy to get caught up in the little things we feel we ought to do, without thinking about what is more important. If we actually stop to think about what we want in life, we might rearrange our entire schedules.

What comes first playing with your kids, or washing dishes? Playing with your kids, or painting the window sill? Playing with your kids, or finishing an important e-mail?

But it is not just about kids. It is about what you want put of life. It is easy to get distracted by a thousand little things close at hand. But that often blinds us to what really matters. So what does really matter in your life? And are you making time for it, or are you filling your time with a thousand less-important matters?

 

“How did it get so late so soon? It’s night before it’s afternoon. December is here before it’s June. My goodness how the time has flewn. How did it get so late so soon?”
by Dr. Seuss

Define Success

Quick! What do happiness and success have in common?

Both are a matter of perspective. This point was driven home to me in an article I read in “The Toastmaster” magazine. A teenager sat next to Albert Einstein at a public gathering. The teenager asked Einstein what he did for a living. He replied that he studied physics.

The astonished teenager said, “At your age! I finished physics two years ago!”

Think about what you do for a living, for hobbies, for your family, etc. How do you describe what you do? More important, how does your own description about it make you feel? If your description does not sound like you are a success, maybe it is time to find a new description.

Why not share this thought with some of your close friends? You could have fun brainstorming together about how to redefine your job or your role as a parent, coach, worshiper, goddess, explorer or whatever else you might happen to be.

The Purpose of Regret

I love this quote by George Eliot:

“It’s never too late to be what you might have been.”

As we get older, regret starts becoming a more frequent emotion. And although we sometimes regret things we have done, it is more those things we have not done that we regret the most (yes, there have been studies that show this is true).

What might you have been? A scholar? A hero? A concert pianist?

What might you have done?  Gotten a university diploma?  Traveled around the world? Given more to charity?

Whatever it is, it is never too late to be that person, to do what you wish you had done — to live that dream.  That is the purpose of regret.  My mother went back to school and earned a university degree – graduating with my youngest brother!

Go out and live that dream now, because regrets of the past are useless if they don’t propel you to a better future.