Five Tips to Survive and Thrive Through a Divorce

Divorce is an unfortunate reality for a lot of people at some point in their lives. While it is generally not considered a good thing, you can not only survive but thrive as you make your way through the divorce process. Here are five tips that will help if you find yourself in this situation.

TIP 1 – Keep Your Perspective – Although the divorce might seem like it is consuming your life while it is ongoing remember that at some point it will just be a part of your past life. So even though it seems enormous right now remind yourself that this feeling is temporary.

Read also: “Resentment is poison“.

TIP 2 – Hire a Good Lawyer and Follow Their Advice – Many people fear hiring a lawyer, thinking that doing so will turn their divorce into a giant battle. If you go to the right lawyer the opposite will happen and they will help you reach a fair and fast conclusion.

TIP 3 – Don’t Start Dating too Quickly – Often people feel (especially if they think their spouse is “leaving them”) that they need to immediately jump back into the dating world to prove that they are still desirable. This can be overwhelming and too much too soon. There is plenty of time to date and it will be a lot more fun after you have had a chance to transition to being single again first. This leads me to Tip #4…

TIP 4 – Let Yourself Grieve, But Don’t Dwell – Give yourself permission to feel bad about it for a little while. It is natural and healthy to grieve when a lifelong commitment doesn’t work out the way you hoped it would. But remember that you only get once chance at this life so you should treasure each day as the gift that it is. If you keep this in mind you will eventually be able to move on, appreciating your marriage for whatever positive you got out of it and then happily move forward into the next phase of your life.

TIP 5 – Take Care of Yourself By Having Some Fun – It might be trite but laughter really is the best medicine, even for a heartache. Find a way to get some laughter and joy into your life. If you have kids, go out of your way to do fun things with them during your with them. If you have hobbies that you enjoy, do them. And if you grew up in the 70’s or 80’s and just need a laugh check out this happy little clouds video.

Follow these tips and you will be able to move onward and upward with your life even through the divorce process.

About the Author

This is a guest post by Scott Morgan is an Austin divorce lawyer with 18 years of experience helping people navigate the divorce process. You can read more about him at the Morgan Law Firm website.

Five Options for UK Divorce

If you feel that your marriage might be headed for a divorce, it is a wise idea to consult with a lawyer to find out what a divorce entails. UK attorney Irwin Mitchell (our guest blogger today) provides a variety of expertise in this area.

Unlike in America, a divorce can only be obtained in either England or Wales if you can prove your marriage has ended and cannot be repaired. A divorce petition can be filed through the court system. A couple must be married for at least one year and provide grounds for seeking the divorce. Your legal counsel can provide you with more specific information but there are generally five different grounds for divorce.

  1. Adultery can be grounds for divorce if you discover that your spouse has had an extramarital affair. The petition must be made within six months of learning about the affair for it to be valid.   In the UK, ancient history is, well, ancient history. The adultery must be proven or admitted to by the cheating party – so good luck if you have a stubborn spouse.
  2. A second ground for divorce would be unreasonable behaviour. This is typically the most used grounds for divorce. A lot of reasons fall into this category. Let’s face it, if you are prepared to divorce your spouse, chances are there has been behaviour that you find unreasonable.  Plus, this is the only one of the five grounds not encumbered by a time limitation that many people find challenging.  But best seek legal advice as to what the courts consider unreasonable..
  3. Desertion is another reason for divorce. While it’s not commonly used, your spouse must have abandoned you for at least two years. After this time period elapses, the deserted party can file for divorce.  Unlike with adultery, you have no choice but to wait on this one.  If your spouse returns after a year and a half, you cannot use this option (maybe try “unreasonable behaviour” above?)
  4. Separation is another reason that one can file for divorce. If the separation occurred for a minimum of two years, then this is known as an uncontested divorce.   Yes, more waiting, but that is the law.
  5. On the other hand, if your spouse does not want the divorce, you can file for divorce if you’ve lived apart for at least five years. This is referred to as a contested divorce.  And this obviously is likely to be a messy option – not to mention one that requires a lot of patience.

The legal ramifications of divorce are many. Legal advice can help guide someone through this difficult process.

This guest post was written by Irwin Mitchell, who also handles personal injury cases and many other services. Get in touch with them if you happen to live in England or Wales.  And remember that the rules are vastly different in different countries.