Five Tips to Survive and Thrive Through a Divorce

Divorce is an unfortunate reality for a lot of people at some point in their lives. While it is generally not considered a good thing, you can not only survive but thrive as you make your way through the divorce process. Here are five tips that will help if you find yourself in this situation.

TIP 1 – Keep Your Perspective – Although the divorce might seem like it is consuming your life while it is ongoing remember that at some point it will just be a part of your past life. So even though it seems enormous right now remind yourself that this feeling is temporary.

Read also: “Resentment is poison“.

TIP 2 – Hire a Good Lawyer and Follow Their Advice – Many people fear hiring a lawyer, thinking that doing so will turn their divorce into a giant battle. If you go to the right lawyer the opposite will happen and they will help you reach a fair and fast conclusion.

TIP 3 – Don’t Start Dating too Quickly – Often people feel (especially if they think their spouse is “leaving them”) that they need to immediately jump back into the dating world to prove that they are still desirable. This can be overwhelming and too much too soon. There is plenty of time to date and it will be a lot more fun after you have had a chance to transition to being single again first. This leads me to Tip #4…

TIP 4 – Let Yourself Grieve, But Don’t Dwell – Give yourself permission to feel bad about it for a little while. It is natural and healthy to grieve when a lifelong commitment doesn’t work out the way you hoped it would. But remember that you only get once chance at this life so you should treasure each day as the gift that it is. If you keep this in mind you will eventually be able to move on, appreciating your marriage for whatever positive you got out of it and then happily move forward into the next phase of your life.

TIP 5 – Take Care of Yourself By Having Some Fun – It might be trite but laughter really is the best medicine, even for a heartache. Find a way to get some laughter and joy into your life. If you have kids, go out of your way to do fun things with them during your with them. If you have hobbies that you enjoy, do them. And if you grew up in the 70’s or 80’s and just need a laugh check out this happy little clouds video.

Follow these tips and you will be able to move onward and upward with your life even through the divorce process.

About the Author

This is a guest post by Scott Morgan is an Austin divorce lawyer with 18 years of experience helping people navigate the divorce process. You can read more about him at the Morgan Law Firm website.

Put On a Happy Face: Partner Dance for a Happier You

Once upon a time, partner dance was the way couples found each other.  Whole courtships occurred in plain view on the dance floor.  In European countries, happy matches were made when a hand was placed atop a wrist and the couple walked out onto the floor and began to move together, often with little actual physical contact.  Some countries in Africa used, and to some extent still use, dance to attract the attention of a potential husband or wife, the quality of the movement and the ability to move together signifying the potential for a lasting relationship.

Much of the idea of courtship dance has disappeared over the years, but we still have a fascination with the idea of forming a partnership with someone who can both move us physically and emotionally.  This is a large part of the popularity of romantic dance romances films like  “Strictly Ballroom”, the “Step Up” franchise, and “Shall We Dance”.  These films are not totally fiction, however.  People who engage in partner dance, are, for the most part, happier than people who do not.

Partner dance is any dance that is characterized by moving in time with someone else.  The most popular partner dances are Salsa and Swing, but there are host of other styles, including Argentine Tango, Zouk/Lambada, Caribbean Zouk, Bachata, Samba de Gafieira, Kizomba, Chacarera, Lindy Hop, and West Coast Swing, to name a few.  The world of ballroom dance, which encompasses waltz, foxtrot, quick step, jive, and various Latin styles in both American and International categories, is wholly separate from the world of social partner dance, and offers a partner dance outlet for those that are more competitive.

Social partner dance occurs at clubs, in churches, outdoors, and in classrooms all around the world, every day of the week.  The quiet man who works in accounting may be the king of Cuban Salsa in your town and the mousy librarian at your local branch may have two or three amateur Swing dance trophies at home.  Partner dance is for everyone and is danced by a wide range of people.  The only requirements to begin partner dancing are a willingness to learn, patience with both oneself and one’s various partners, and commitment to practice.

People partner dance for many different reasons.  Some enjoy the social aspect of meeting new people each night and traveling from dance venue to dance venue.  Some people like moving with another person and the physical conversation that can occur when a partner dance is going well.  Some people like the exercise aspect, and use partner dance to break up the monotony of sitting in front of a computer all day.  Whatever their reason for starting, people who engage in partner dance on a regular basis, are generally less stressed, more productive, and happier in their daily lives.

If you are new in town and are looking for a way to meet people, partner dance is a great option.  Do an online search for studios in your area.  Most partner dance studios allow you to try the classes before enrolling in a particular course, so experiment and see which type of dance grabs you.  For people who are a little shy, partner dance is great, because the conversation is done via dance instead of vocally.  If you are interested in using partner dance for exercise, try one of the more energetic styles like Salsa, Lindy Hop, or Samba de Gafieira.

No matter what style you ultimately decide upon, partner dance will improve your outlook on life, your sense of self, and your energy levels.  Though dancing with someone nowadays may not lead directly to marriage, it does aid in the formation of lasting friendships, and it is certain to help you maintain a happy, positive outlook.

Article written by S. Black, a passionate dancer and freelance writer. She frequently writes on the arts and about interior design on behalf of a major sectionals retailer.