Three Tips for Moving Past Bachelor Status

October 4, 2013 by Leave a Comment

Ready for a committed relationship?  The time to prepare is before you find the woman you want for a wife.  Here are some quick tips to start you preparing to make that leap from bachelorhood.

Of course there are some perks for remaining a bachelor all your life, but there are also several perks that come with commitment or marriage. One of the top reasons why many men choose not to get married or never progress toward marriage, even though they may want to, is because they are afraid of commitment.

Although it may be nice to be able to do what you want to do whenever you want without any kind of strings attached, going through life as a single male without any kind of serious commitment to someone else can be a very lonely road, and once you find the woman you’re looking for, it may be difficult to drop some of your old habits. If you are hoping to move past singlehood or if you and now your future by following the simple tips listed below:

Sweep Her Off Her FeetTip #1: Treat Women with Respect

If you have found a woman with which you can experience a truly committed relationship, you need to start by treating her with respect. Not only should you treat potential partners with respect by complementing them, opening doors for them, genuinely caring about them, and doing other things to show them that you value them as an individual, consider buying that special someone a promise ring to show you truly cherish the relationship. Take a look via http://www.shaneco.com/promiserings/default.htmx to get more ideas.

Tip #2: Clean Up Your Act to get more ideas.

Some men believe that they can continue doing what they have been doing for the last 10 years as a bachelor and that they will suddenly find a woman who will come running into their arms. Although this may be the case in some situations, it is important to examine yourself and see what you can do to become a better future husband and father.

  • Are you furthering your education or progressing toward a successful career?
  • Do you keep your living space clean and organized?
  • Do you strive to stay healthy by exercising, eating nutritious foods, not smoking, and avoiding excessive alcohol consumption?

By cleaning up your act, you are more likely to find someone who wants to be your lifelong partner.

Tip #3: Be Willing to Expose Your Vulnerable Side

Another large barrier that many bachelors struggle to overcome is the inability to expose their vulnerable side to others. Many men prefer to be perceived by others as macho and without weakness. One of the surest ways to make an emotional connection with others is by allowing them to see that you are capable of truly loving them, even if it means getting hurt sometimes.

Once you feel comfortable with someone that you see marriage potential with, be sure to break down any walls that you have built around yourself so that they can see your soft side.  You will find that lasting relationships are built when you and your partner are able to give freely of yourselves without holding anything back.

After you have entered a committed relationship with your partner, you can work to move your relationship to the next level by showing your dedication with a marriage proposal. A bridal ring symbolizes your commitment to your partner. Whether the ring comes with dozens of diamonds or it is a simple band, it will show your partner that you are committed to leaving your past life of singlehood and forming a new life together.

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Do you inspire trust?

November 11, 2012 by 6 Comments

A positive relationship requires mutual trust. Without trust, spouses, diplomats, friends and co-workers, neighbours and others cannot build an enjoyable relationship.

Sadly, many people think that they have a great relationship as long as “they can get away with it”, rather than ensuring they are trustworthy. That is called lowest-denominator thinking. I suppose it is survivalist; if surviving is your reason for living, that’s just grand.

Children trust their parents just to survive.

But what if you want more out of life than just surviving?

Many divorces – not all, of course – boil down to one partner or both devaluing trust. War is usually the result of one or more countries or leaders failing to ensure they are trustworthy. And often on-the-job problems are the result of missing trust.

I will leave you to define for yourself whether these situations pass or fail even the survival test.

But if you want more out of life than just surviving, or in my opinion, failing to do so, think about the people you have a relationship with:

  • boss, employee, co-worker, business partner
  • spouse, child, parent, sibling
  • friend
  • your child’s teacher, a neighbor

Have you earned the trust of these people? When you give your word to them, do you ALWAYS mean it? And do they know that you do? If not, now is a great time to start building the trust so vital to positive relationships.

Make sure you DO mean it. Every time. And make sure they know.

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Just who are you anyway?

January 24, 2012 by 1 Comment

What do you rely on for your happiness?

Do you make your own happiness? Or do you wait for it to come to you?

Do you create your own future? Or do you rely on tarot readings an fortune tellers?

Do you blaze your own path? Or do you follow people around you?

Do you work alone? Or do you prefer to run with the crowd?

These are not right and wrong answer questions. These are questions about who you are. Knowing who you are is important for making decisions in your life.

No matter how much you might fall in love with somebody because you share interests or because you like how they look or talk or smell, if you want to build a lifetime together, the person had better be compatible at a much more fundamental level.

Your next job might seem like fun because of the subject matter. Or the pay. Or because of location, or the company’s reputation. But if your position is not compatible with your personality, you will neither excel at you job nor enjoy it very much. It is one of the great urban legends that if somebody is a good vice president, they should be promoted to president. It takes a totally different personality to excel at being number one than at being number two.

You don’t have to be psychic to find your ideal place in the world. But you do have to know yourself.

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Fable of the Porcupine Family

January 4, 2012 by 6 Comments

It was deep in the midst of January, and the cold was taking its toll on Hidden Valley’s wildlife community.

The Porcupine Family was hunkered down, trying to keep warm by cuddling close to one another. Like this, they were able to cover themselves and protect each other from the cold, much the way penguins do in Antarctica.

Alas, the quills of each porcupine wounded its closest companions. Before long, each of them had had pretty much enough and they decided to distance themselves one from the other.

But cold is cold and freezing is freezing and they slowly began to die – alone and frozen. So the Porcupines had to make a choice: either accept the quills of their companions or succumb to a slow and painful death.

Wisely, they decided to get back together. It was not easy, but they learned to put up with the little wounds caused by such a close relationship with their companions, in order to receive the living warmth that came from the others. It was like this that the Porcupine family was able to survive the cold winter.

Moral of the story: The best relationship is not the one that brings perfect people closer together. It is when each individual learns to live with the imperfections of the others and can admire each other’s endearing qualities and find happiness together.

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Put On a Happy Face: Partner Dance for a Happier You

August 24, 2011 by 6 Comments

Once upon a time, partner dance was the way couples found each other.  Whole courtships occurred in plain view on the dance floor.  In European countries, happy matches were made when a hand was placed atop a wrist and the couple walked out onto the floor and began to move together, often with little actual physical contact.  Some countries in Africa used, and to some extent still use, dance to attract the attention of a potential husband or wife, the quality of the movement and the ability to move together signifying the potential for a lasting relationship.

Much of the idea of courtship dance has disappeared over the years, but we still have a fascination with the idea of forming a partnership with someone who can both move us physically and emotionally.  This is a large part of the popularity of romantic dance romances films like  “Strictly Ballroom”, the “Step Up” franchise, and “Shall We Dance”.  These films are not totally fiction, however.  People who engage in partner dance, are, for the most part, happier than people who do not.

Partner dance is any dance that is characterized by moving in time with someone else.  The most popular partner dances are Salsa and Swing, but there are host of other styles, including Argentine Tango, Zouk/Lambada, Caribbean Zouk, Bachata, Samba de Gafieira, Kizomba, Chacarera, Lindy Hop, and West Coast Swing, to name a few.  The world of ballroom dance, which encompasses waltz, foxtrot, quick step, jive, and various Latin styles in both American and International categories, is wholly separate from the world of social partner dance, and offers a partner dance outlet for those that are more competitive.

Social partner dance occurs at clubs, in churches, outdoors, and in classrooms all around the world, every day of the week.  The quiet man who works in accounting may be the king of Cuban Salsa in your town and the mousy librarian at your local branch may have two or three amateur Swing dance trophies at home.  Partner dance is for everyone and is danced by a wide range of people.  The only requirements to begin partner dancing are a willingness to learn, patience with both oneself and one’s various partners, and commitment to practice.

People partner dance for many different reasons.  Some enjoy the social aspect of meeting new people each night and traveling from dance venue to dance venue.  Some people like moving with another person and the physical conversation that can occur when a partner dance is going well.  Some people like the exercise aspect, and use partner dance to break up the monotony of sitting in front of a computer all day.  Whatever their reason for starting, people who engage in partner dance on a regular basis, are generally less stressed, more productive, and happier in their daily lives.

If you are new in town and are looking for a way to meet people, partner dance is a great option.  Do an online search for studios in your area.  Most partner dance studios allow you to try the classes before enrolling in a particular course, so experiment and see which type of dance grabs you.  For people who are a little shy, partner dance is great, because the conversation is done via dance instead of vocally.  If you are interested in using partner dance for exercise, try one of the more energetic styles like Salsa, Lindy Hop, or Samba de Gafieira.

No matter what style you ultimately decide upon, partner dance will improve your outlook on life, your sense of self, and your energy levels.  Though dancing with someone nowadays may not lead directly to marriage, it does aid in the formation of lasting friendships, and it is certain to help you maintain a happy, positive outlook.

Article written by S. Black, a passionate dancer and freelance writer. She frequently writes on the arts and about interior design on behalf of a major sectionals retailer.

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