Be a Volunteer

June 13, 2012 by 1 Comment

When was the last time you volunteered? Some people help out a local charity. Some get involved with a service club. Some people help clean up the environment or strengthen the community or provide a warm face to those in need of comfort.

It’s about community spirit, giving back – just being an all-round good person.

And there is nothing that feels so good and makes a person feel so fulfilled as knowing that she is making a difference in the world.

Before I was balancing two active kids, I volunteered at my local food bank. It did not take all that much of my time (not as much as it should have, at least), but I never missed a scheduled time, despite a hectic schedule even before kids.

You see, it is not so important how much we contribute, but it is very important that we do.

In a few years, my life will change all over again – and I will return to volunteering more frequently.

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Oz the Fantasy or Oz the Reality?

May 23, 2012 by Leave a Comment

I have been reading a series of four books referred to as “the wicked years” (amazing storytelling!). They are about Oz, but with a twist.

Most readers are familiar with Oz from the movie version(s) of The Wizard of Oz. But there are actually 16 Oz books written by L.F. Baum, and several other approved books written by other authors, Yes, it is a much bigger series than Narnia or Lord of The Rings.

But the Oz you might be tempted to read – yes, even as an adult I enjoy rereading those books – is a fairy tale. It leaves out adult topics, such as romance and war, political manoeuvring and poverty, swearing and cruelty.

The good guys are good, and the bad guys are bad; but in real life, most people are pragmatists with good intentions (or at least they justify their actions with good intentions).

The Wicked Years is a series of four books (and now a smash hit Broadway musical, too!) that tells the “real” story of Oz.

  • The “Wicked Witch of the West” wasn’t actually evil.  In fact, she was a freedom fighter who turned paranoid and unsociable over time.
  • Glinda was a society lady, and had very little magic power of her own.
  • Glinda and the Witch were actually good friends.
  • The straw man was, well, a straw man.
  • The Wizard… pretty much what the movies and the books portrayed him to be.
  • And, yes, there were, strangely enough, flying monkeys.
  • Ozma, Tiktok, the Glass Cat, General Jinjur – they all are somewhat less in real life than the fantasy fed to the kids who read beyond the first Oz book.

There are trains and industry and bigotry and much less magic than in the fairy tale version that came down to us as kids and through Hollywood.

So which is better? The sanitized version for the kids? Or the “true” story for the adults?

Frankly, I like them both.

In real life, the truth is important. But so are our fantasies. You might be more disposed to one or the other, and that is fine. Don’t underestimate the other. Truth and fantasy make a powerful combination.

These are the four books – I highly recommend them.

     
READ ALSO: The Four Candles
READ ALSO: The fable of the Porcupine family

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Got Doubt? How to Stay Positive and Overcome Those Doubtful Thoughts

May 15, 2012 by 3 Comments

Doubt and business seem to be two words that are never far away. Doubting yourself is so easy to do when working because there is so much pressure. You want to make sure that you do everything correct because having a job is what allows you to pay for the important things in life—a place to live, a future for your child, a car to drive. You want to make sure that your boss likes you and that you are appreciated, so doubt is almost inevitable.

Unfortunately, doubt is something that can seem difficult to shake. Doubt is one reason that someone may feel unhappy, so it’s important that if you feel like you always doubt your decisions you determine three things: Where the doubt comes from in the first place, how to get rid of self-doubt, and how to make sure it doesn’t happen again.

Why Are You Feeling Doubtful?

There are many reasons that a person might let doubt bring him/her down. It is important to understand where your doubt started so that you can better make sure it doesn’t continually take away your happiness. Consider some of the reasons you may feel doubtful below:

  • You try to do too much at once, so you are unprepared.
  • You were/are constantly told that you were/are doing something wrong.
  • You were/are constantly being told that you can’t/couldn’t do something.
  • You are trying to take on a task that you are not qualified to complete.

As you can see, there are really two different types of doubt: One you feel because of someone or something telling you that you can’t do it and the other because you actually cannot complete the project. No matter what the reason or reasons for feeling doubtful, it needs to come to a stop so that you can be happy again!

How to Get Rid of Doubt and Start Being Happy Again

As with any problem, there are different ways to get to the answer. You must determine what is right for you in order to get back to your confident self, and in many cases this will be a few different things:

  1. 1. Make sure you really want to do whatever it is that is making you feel doubtful.

You have to be motivated to complete your task. If you think you feel doubtful because you simply are not qualified to complete a task, then the answer is to stop trying! Do not let someone, even a boss, persuade you to do something that you are not equipped to handle. A challenge is always great, but sometimes a person just flat out does not have the time to learn an entirely new skill. If someone asked me to balance the company checkbook while the accountant is on vacation, I’m going to feel doubtful because I am not qualified for that job. However, if you are really motivated to do something, this is the first step in making sure you kick those doubtful emotions.

  1. 2. Take your time and go at a speed you feel comfortable.

Many people feel doubtful because they are moving too fast. If you’re not sure what’s happening, of course you’re not going to be confident that everything is running smoothly. You want to make sure that you’re completing your task one step at a time. In the long run, this will probably save you time because you will not have to go back and fix mistakes. In the majority of cases, your boss will understand that doing something slowly and correct is better than being quick and sloppy.

  1. 3. Ask for help if you need help.

Confidence often disappears when someone tries to do something alone. If you need help, it’s important to ask for help. Nobody is going to see this as a problem, so it’s important to get over your fear of asking questions. Even if you don’t have a question, just have someone look over your work when you’re finished before you submit it to your boss. It is always easier for someone else to see your mistakes, so take confidence in this.

How to Make Sure You Stay Happy by Overcoming Doubt

The truth is—it can be difficult to always feel confident. Do not get discouraged if sometimes you feel doubtful, but rather do what you can to remain happy. After all, feeling doubtful about feeling doubtful is not going to solve your problem! You want to make sure that you ask questions, take your time, and make sure you have the right motivation for the task at hand. Try and surround yourself with people that make you feel confident, and lean on them if things get stressful and overwhelming.

Have you ever felt doubtful at work and let it affect your overall happiness? What did you do to solve the problem?

Amanda DiSilvestro is a writer on topics ranging from social media to background checks. She writes for an online resource that gives advice on topics including phone systems to small businesses and entrepreneurs for a lead generation company, Resource Nation.

 

Filed Under: Happiness

What Can You Achieve When You Really Believe?

May 8, 2012 by 4 Comments

What can you do when you really want to?

Anything.

Yes, I said anything. Nothing is too big. But it helps to take it one step at a time.

Over three decades ago, 16-year old Jadav “Molai” Payeng came across a swarm of dead snakes washed onto a bare sandbar in a flood India’s Assam region. “The snakes died in the heat, without any tree cover. I sat down and wept over their lifeless forms,” Jadav.

Whereas most people would stop at the weeping (if they ever got even that far), Jadav didn’t stop there. Instead, he planted a tree. Then he planted another. And another. And he kept planting trees. The barren sandbar is now a thriving forest of 1360 acres – including such wildlife as rhinos,tigers, apes, elephants and deer. The Assistant Conservator of Forests, Gunin Saikia, believes this is the biggest forest in the middle of a river in the world.

Just one man planted every single tree. Each one from seed. Year after year.

He lives now in the forest that bears his name, selling cow and buffalo milk for a living. He moved in as a teenager so that he could oversee the project directly.

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Keep Your Head Up

May 4, 2012 by Leave a Comment

Financial woes can take its toll on anyone. Increasing stress levels and pressure on one’s personal and professional life can be just the beginning for some people. There is light at the end of the tunnel, though.

Baby Steps

You might be in some financial pressure. Or, on the other side of the scale, you might be on the cusp of bankruptcy. Financial stress is nothing to ignore.

For those of us who have experience trying financial times, it is not easy. After all, financial concerns can cloud one’s future and alter one’s confidence. There can be a sense of failure that takes its toll as well.

image courtesy of Andrew Kitzmiller

One of the best things that can be done in this situation is to take it one step at a time. You aren’t going to come up with a three-month plan to get out of your $25,000 debt situation on a $34,000 salary. It isn’t going to happen. However, that doesn’t mean that you have to accept your current situation, and the accompanying stress/pressure involved.

Take some small steps that can give you some confidence, moving forward:

• Here and Now: What can you do today to get on the right track? Take a long and hard look at your budget. Sell unneeded items and/or downsize across the board (home, car, and “stuff”). You can accept the frugal lifestyle today.

• Microcosm: Take your big goals and then shrink them – a lot. These smaller goals will help you stay motivated and remain on the right track. They can spell success and keep you headed there for good.

• Dedication: Can you stay on track with your plan? What will it take to meet your stringent eating out guidelines needed to get out of debt? Whether you need mini-budgets posted on the fridge for motivation, or something else, you need to stay dedicated.

A Word on Stress

You have to keep your head up. Allowing financial concerns and stress to enter your mind is natural. However, you shouldn’t allow it to overwhelm you.

Look to separate your financial situation from other things. While you might be saying that this is impossible, due to lack of available funds to “enjoy” the finer things, there is a point to that. However, when you take financial stressors seriously, you can learn to live frugally. You can enjoy free and cheap ways to go out and stay home – and still have a great time.

Execute the car insurance comparison to save some money. Look at term deposit rates once you get out of debt. However, whether you are struggling in debt or finally out of it (permanently!), learn to manage financial pressure and your regular life. Don’t let the numbers get to your head.

Keep your head up. There are plenty of ways to make your current situation more manageable. When you’re not engaged in these, try to separate yourself from that world. Even if you’re looking at a long hard road out of debt, you don’t have to let it consume your thoughts and life.

 

Brian Neese is a personal finance and insurance blogger who writes for Home Loans Australia.

 

 

Filed Under: Frugal

Singing Lessons Part III

April 27, 2012 by Leave a Comment

We have a lesson to offer from the third of three songs our daughters performed at their singing lessons end-of-classes performance for parents and families.

Chantalyne sang “Chasse Galerie” by Claude Dubois. It is a song that demands a powerful voice. Unfortunately, as I mentioned in an earlier post, two days before the show we feared she would have to bow out, as her voice had not yet returned after a hacking cough that had commandeered much her past three weeks.

Her voice did return, although not quite as strong as normal and not quite as strong as it should have been for this number. Don’t get me wrong – she sang it very well and it was one of the better singing performances there. But it was not her best.

Nevertheless, her performance was riveting. And at the very end of the song, she delivered what we refer to as the “show stopper” moment.

There is more to everything than meets the eye. There is more to a great sports performance than just coming in first. How you play the game is just as important. How you behave off the field counts, too. How you treat other people. What else you do with your life.

And there is more to singing than just singing.

Watch the video and see why we call this such a show stopper. Then think about all the things you are trying to achieve in your life – land a new job or change careers, upgrade your home or move, build a new relationship or strengthen an old one – and figure out what other aspects you might be overlooking. What else goes into success besides the obvious? What else can you do that others won’t expect to add value? To catch their attention? To impress them? To win them over?

Lyrics to Chasse Galerie

À force de rester dans la forêt à s’ennuyer
Le diable est venu les tenter
Il fallait deux semaines
Quand la glace s’était en aller
En canot pour s’en retourner

C’était déjà l’hiver les grands froids
Nous mordait les pieds
Impossible de s’en aller

C’était déjà Noël le Nouvel An montrait son nez
Tous les hommes voulaient s’en aller
Le diable guettant comme un rapace son gibier
Vint leur offrir tout un marché

Dans un canot dans le plus grand que vous ayez
Installez-vous là sans bouger
Quand minuit sonnera ton canot d’un coup bougera
Il s’élèvera pour t’emporter
Mais si l’un d’entre vous après la fête terminée
Manque le bateau vous périrez

Et chez le grand Satan vous irez brûler ignorés
Ignorés pour l’éternité
Le canot s’éleva jusqu’au ciel ils furent emportés
Jusqu’à leur village tant aimé
Chacun revint une fois la fête terminée
Sauf le dernier sans y pensé
Posant le pied en embarquant s’est retourné
C’est retourné sans y penser

Alors le grand Satan dans un tourbillon de brasier
Tous et chacun à emporter
Le plus jeune d’entre eux
Le plus méfiant le plus peureux
Gardait comme un bijou précieux
Une prière à tuer les diables de la terre
Et quand il l’eut enfin citée
Comme des étoiles furent soudainement libérées
Devant leur cabane isolée

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Singing Lessons Part II

April 26, 2012 by Leave a Comment

In our last post, we pulled a lesson from Chantalyne’s opening number at the end-of-singing-lessons concert last week.

Part-way through, our younger daughter Lauralee sang “Si Dieux Existe” by Claude Dubois. Unlike our elder limelight-lover, Lauralee is shy of the spotlight. She has been dancing on stage for years, but always as part of a group. Singing on her own in front of a crowd? No thanks.

Really, no thanks. She did not even want to participate.

She loves to sing, usually half under her breath while playing with Barbie dolls. And she loves her singing lessons, but she had to be convinced to sing on a stage in front of strangers.

When she got up on stage, she was as nervous as most of the others, but once she started singing, she forgot the crowd and her angelic voice – yes, angelic as ever – came through with no nervousness or straining in it.

Yes, the lesson from this one is pretty predictable. If you overcome your fear, just do it anyway, you’ll be an angel. No, wait, that’s not quite the lesson. Face your fears and you will succeed. You can do it! Whatever your apprehensions, just do it anyway.

That’s the lesson.

(Sorry about the video – the camera was playing games, so we only have the second half of her performance recorded.)

Lyrics to Si Dieux Existe

Personne, il n’y a plus personne
Mon âme qui s’affole
En prenant son envol
Me laisse inanimé

Personne, j’ai besoin, j’ai personne
Mon être dégringole
Tous mes sens m’abandonnent
Je ne sais pas si j’ai peur
Je regarde d’en haut
Le corps de ton esprit
Nos visages à l’envers
Tout petit, tout petit

Refrain:
Si Dieu existe et qu’il t’aime
Comme tu aimes les oiseaux
Comme un fou, comme un ange
Tu peux marcher enfin sur les étoiles, aspiré
Comme un fou, comme un ange

Personne, il n’y a plus personne
Mon âme qui s’affole
En prenant son envol
Me laisse inanimé

Personne, j’ai besoin, j’ai personne
Mon être dégringole
Tous mes sens m’abandonnent
Je n’sais pas si j’ai peur
Tu regardes d’en haut
Le corps de ton Esprit
Nos visages à l’envers
Tout petit, tout petit

Refrain:
Si Dieu existe et qu’il t’aime
Comme tu aimes les oiseaux
Comme un fou, comme un ange
Tu peux marcher enfin sur les étoiles, aspiré
Comme un fou, comme un ange.

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Singing Lessons Part I

April 25, 2012 by Leave a Comment

Last week, my two daughters performed before the collected parents and families of their singing class at the Maison des Arts in Embrun. Thirteen kids ( 8-14 years old), one adult, eighteen songs, lots of fun.

And lessons, always lessons.

As I was playing back the video recordings we made, I realized there was a lesson to be learned from each of them. So there were lessons from these singing lessons.

In the video below, Chantalyne sings “Destin” by Celine Dion, the opening number at the show. It was a good choice to open with, because she got the crowd revved up – not that a crowd composed of the various singers’ families really needed revving up.

It was, in our opinion, the best singing performance of the evening. This is where you are supposed to nod your head wisely and say to yourself, “He will now lecture us on the virtues of hard work and perseverance and practice to achieve excellence.”

Well, not quite. You see, in the three-and-a-half weeks prior to the show, Chantalyne spent the first week and the third week sick, some of it with fever and all of it with a horrible, hacking, bronchial cough. In fact, two days before the show, we feared she would have to bow out, as her voice had not yet returned and the coughing continued only partially abated.

She really had very little time to practice.

But since you came here expecting a lecture on the virtues of hard work and perseverance to achieve excellence, who am I to disappoint? In fact, there was a lot of hard work building her voice up in general prior to getting sick, over a period of months. She took formal voice lessons twice a week. She practiced at home. She worked hard.

And once the fever was gone, she started to practice without her voice.  You see, there are three things a singer need to be able to deliver:

  • The words – she needs to know the lyrics backwards and forwards.
  • The timing – she needs to know exactly when to jump in (not a tenth of a second too soon or too late) and the exact pace to match the music.
  • The voice – she needs to be on-key for every note

So while still sick, she started working on the lyrics and on the timing under her breath. Yes, perseverance is worthwhile. Don’t let a little thing like a missing voice keep you from singing. Or crutches keep you from running. Or a poor memory keep you from whatever.  Figure out what you can do, and just start doing it.

Lyrics to Destin

Ya pas de voiles aux volets de mes frères
Ya pas d’opale autour de mes doigts
Ni cathédrale où cacher mes prières
Juste un peu d’or autour de ma voix.

Je vais les routes et je vais les frontières
Je sens, j’écoute et j’apprends je vois
Le temps s’égoutte au long des fuseaux horaires
Je prends, je donne avais-je le choix?

Refrain:
Tel est mon destin
Je vais mon chemin
Ainsi passent mes heures
Au rythme entêtant des battements de mon coeur.

Des feux d’été je vole aux sombres hivers
Des pluies d’automne aux été indiens
Terres gelées aux plus arides déserts
Je vais, je viens ce monde est mien

Je vis de notes et je vis de lumière
je virevolte à vos cris, vos mains
La vie m’emporte au creux de tous ses mystères
je vois dans vos yeux mes lendemains

Refrain:
Je vais les routes et je vais les frontières
Je sens, j’écoute et j’apprends je vois
Le temps s’égoutte au long des fuseaux horaires
Je prends, je donne avais-je le choix?

Je prends le blues aux signaux des répondeurs
Je prends la peine aux aéroports
Je vis l’Amour à des kilomètres ailleurs
Et le bonheur à mon téléphone.

Refrain:
Tel est mon destin
Je vais mon chemin
Ainsi passent mes heures
Au rythme entêtant des battements de mon coeur.

Filed Under: Happiness Tagged With: , , , , ,

No, Really, You Are Never Too Old

April 17, 2012 by 1 Comment

Last week, we visited the You Are Never Too Old Department.  This week, we are back.

No need to ramble on. This 86 year old lady would put me and most people I know to shame in anything gymnastics-related.

If she can do that, imagine what you can do if you put your mind to it.

Filed Under: Fitness Tagged With: , , ,
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