Breathe Some Life Into Your Life

Relief from anxiety in 19 seconds? A free method for increased energy, improved blood circulation, reduced swelling, and improved complexion? Studies prove that simply learning how to breathe correctly can have these remarkable effects throughout your body.

learn to breatheBreathing correctly can be as powerful as it is simple. The typical person only uses around twenty percent of their lung capacity, but with practice, they can learn how to tap into their lung’s full potential. Sending better oxygen content to all the cells of the body can bring dramatic changes in general health and mood.

Famous health guru, Dr. Andrew Weil, says that if he could only give one tip for better health, it would be to breathe properly. Proper breathing technique is central to the ancient practices of Yoga, Qi Gong, Ayurveda and other meditation disciplines. A clinical study* of thousands of participants over a 30-year period presents convincing evidence that the most significant factor in peak health and long life is how well you breathe.

*You can get the complete Framingham study at the National Institute of Health’s Database. http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/PubMed/.

Breathing correctly is critical in maintaining the level of oxygen for energy, keeping the correct pH levels in the body, and enough carbon dioxide for bodily functions. Healthy people make 93 per cent of their energy aerobically (“in the presence of oxygen,”) but poor breathing habits can reduce the amount of energy made aerobically to 84 per cent. Seventy percent of the elimination of wastes from the body is through breathing.

The good news is that poor breathing habits can be reversed. Among infants, correct breathing comes naturally. Observe a baby as it breathes to see its belly rise and fall with each breath. As we grow older, we are taught to “suck in that gut” and “puff out that chest” as we try to achieve as slim a waist as possible. Such resistance to the natural breathing posture restricts oxygen intake, which can lead to numerous physical as well as emotional problems.

“Bad” Breathing

Shallow “chest breathing” invites problems by delivering less air per breath into the lungs. Less air per breath leads to a higher number of breaths, putting in motion a series of physiological changes that constrict blood vessels. An imbalance between the oxygen and carbon dioxide levels in the lungs delivers less oxygen to the brain, the heart, and the rest of the body. Carbon dioxide (CO2,) is a vital gas that is produced by the body’s energy source: metabolism. The body’s ability to maintain a normal pH (the balance between acid and alkaline that regulates the body’s chemical reactions) depends on maintaining an adequate supply of CO2.

Too much oxygen and not enough carbon dioxide can create an agitated state. As you learn to exhale slowly, you conserve carbon dioxide and rebalance the system. However, too much carbon dioxide, and not enough oxygen, can create feelings of fatigue and depression. Learning to inhale slowly re-balances your system by taking in more oxygen. In extreme cases, a restricted supply of oxygen can contribute to anxiety, panic attacks, and even phobias. Less productive exhaling can also result in a buildup of toxins that would have been eliminated through breathing.

Stress, anxiety, and emotions all affect our breathing – the natural “fight or flight” response that increases respiration. As “civilized” people, we typically do not ease such state of arousal with immediate physical activity. Once breathing is in an aroused state, the physiological effects on the body remain after the stressful event has gone. Such arousal promotes rapid breathing leading to a metabolic imbalance where CO2 levels are too low and oxygen use is poor. The key element to many meditation disciplines is that breathing technique can affect one’s emotional state as much as one’s emotional state can affect one’s breathing.

“Bad breathing” is also performed through the mouth rather than the nose, especially during exercise or a stressful situation. Breathing through the mouth permits inhaling and exhaling large volumes of air quickly. This can lead to hyperventilation, diminished energy, and a weakening of health and well-being.

“Good” Breathing

It is easy to develop good breathing habits, but it takes practice. Most of us are completely unaware of our breathing – otherwise we would have to remember to inhale over 17,000 times a day! Breathing awareness and practice, or “breathwork,” is an important part of training for athletes, musicians, vocalists, and public speakers.

To achieve normal levels of oxygen and CO2 in your system, you begin by focusing your attention on breath! Your goal is to reduce the number of respirations from a standard of 12 per minute to as few as four per minute – which can be achieved with practice. Deep, slow breathing will feel unnatural to many who first try it and may be uncomfortable to some. After years of shallow “chest breathing,” some have a low CO2 concentration leaving them with a tight chest and malfunctioning diaphragm.

A slow inhale, followed by holding the breath, and concluding with an exhale twice as long as the inhale will help balance the CO2 level. One technique is called “4-7-8 Breathing” in which you inhale to the count of four, hold the breath to the count of seven, and slowly exhale to the count of eight. The slow exhale is key to most forms of breathwork, and critical to achieving stress reduction.

Bad Advice

“Take a deep breath” can be very bad advice to someone who is feeling anxious or is agitated. If such a person begins taking deep breaths, they are likely to experience an even more aroused state. A person prone to anxiety most likely is at or over their optimum CO2 level and needs to slow their respiration more than increase their intake volume through “take a deep breath.”

Such advice can lead to hyperventilation (breathing too fast.) The amount of carbon dioxide in blood generally regulates breathing and a low level of CO2 tends to make the nervous system more excitable. If carbon dioxide is released too rapidly, the arteries and blood vessels constrict and an insufficient supply of oxygen to the cells results, including blood (and oxygen) supply to the brain. Restricting oxygen supply to the brain can stimulate the sympathetic nervous system (fight or flight) and cause tension, anxiety, and mood swings. Low levels of oxygen in the brain has been associated with depression and other changes in brain waves.

Remembering to Breathe

Learning the proper breathing technique is important – remembering to practice that technique can become even more important. On a typical day, it is easy to become focused on a task (such as the computer or driving) and forget to breathe properly. The tendency is to revert into shallow “chest breathing” when focused. Regularly practicing diaphragmatic breathing, with measured inhale and exhale, and it will become the only breathing you do. But, like anything else, proper breathing is a learned skill and practice is critical.

Getting “lost” at a computer keyboard or within the pages of a good book happens to everyone. You will need a timer or similar alarm to remind you on a regular basis throughout the day to practice this skill. Kitchen timers work well as does a wristwatch alarm or cell phone alarm. As these require resetting and the audible alarm can be embarrassing in some situations, there is a “personal breathing coach” device on the market with a discreet, silent alarm (breathminder.com) that is effective.

 Internet

joggingArticles regarding diaphragmatic breathing abound on the Internet. In addition to the many health benefits achieved through proper breathing technique, there are numerous web sites devoted to breathwork for sports, public speaking, singing, and musical instruments. Many sites incorporate breathwork into practice of meditation as well as natural healing and holistic medicine modalities. Search breathwork, diaphragmatic breathing, or simply healthy breathing to find an extensive array of materials.

Unfortunately, this information is not widespread in today’s medical community. Illness and Pathology, not Wellness, are the priority of most healthcare practitioners. In addition, things that are free and can’t be patented (like breathing) do not attract funding for research, so little finds its way into popular medical journals.

Breathe Some Life Into It

Breathwork is free and you already own the necessary equipment (lungs) so you and you can practice virtually anytime anywhere. You first want to evaluate your current normal breathing pattern, and then learn diaphragmatic breathing skills, and then to pace your breathing. Once you have achieved that level, the “trick” is to remember to practice your breathing and to perform it correctly. With time, these skills become your normal method of breathing and you begin to breathe some life into your life!

 
 

Guest blogger Joel McPherson, MA, HRM runs Breath Minder and Stop Anxiety Atttack Symptoms.

 

 

Lifestyle Carnival – Happy Relaunch Edition

Welcome to the 50th edition of the Lifestyle Carnival.  This is the Happy Relaunch Edition, because it coincides with the relaunch of this blog.  We have moved it from the sub-domain to the main domain for extra exposure.  In the weeks ahead, the entire look of the blog will be upgraded, too.

Happy Blog Posts

TRAVEL

Melody @ Vacilando writes fun – Although we have created this fun and weird existence, living abroad and traveling on our 35′ sailboat, sometimes, believe it or not, we have to remind ourselves to have FUN.

Greg @ Club Thrifty writes Planning Ahead: The Advantages of Life Planning – OK, so we may take planning ahead to a whole new section of Crazy Town. Still, planning ahead can benefit your life in many ways. Find out how inside!

Steve @ Grocery Alerts writes Guide to Cross Border Shopping for Canadians – Many Canadians cross border shop in the United States. This guide shares tips on how much you can bring back, what you can bring and useful websites.

Jason Hull @ Hull Financial Planning writes Do FBAR and FATCA Affect You if You Plan on Becoming an Expatriate? – If you plan on becoming a backpacking vagabond living in the steppes of Tajikistan, you’ll still need money to live on. Will the long arm of the IRS touch you? Here’s how to stay in their good graces if you want to be an expat.

HEALTH

Robert @ Kids Ain’t Cheap writes Choosing Daycare: Finding the Perfect Fit – Choosing a childcare provider is one of the hardest and most thought through decisions parents make. No one would argue that the ideal candidate for proving childcare are the parents, but in today’s world, it is more common that both parents return to work after their child is born.

Stephan Ledain @ http://eternalremedy.com/ writes The Nice People – A parable of self-discovery on the topic of faith.

Miss T. @ Prairie Eco Thrifter writes Spring Cleaning Tasks to Get a Head Start On – I actually enjoy the thought of spring cleaning. There is something about the thought of being organized and starting a season off on the right (clean) foot that is satisfying. However, I find that when I start spring cleaning, I am usually surprised by how much work it is.

ENTERTAINMENT

Jules Wilson @ Fat Guy,Skinny Wallet writes My New Sony NWZ-W262 Walkman From Klout! – The Sony NWZ-W262 Walkman wireless MP3 player recently came into my possession, and so far I love it! You can read my first impressions & see a video of the unboxing

Tushar @ Finance TUBE writes Are smart TV’s worth it? – Consumer technology evolves at such a rapid rate these days that your tech is probably out-dated by the time you’ve managed to save up for it. Advertising sometimes manages to convince you to save up for gear neither need nor want.

WEALTH AND RETIREMENT

CAPI @ Creating a Passive Income writes Fact or Fiction: 5 Passive Income Myths – Looking into starting a passive income? Before you try, it’s important to know the facts and falsehoods. Here are 5 passive income myths and tips.

Michael @ Financial Ramblings writes Dirty Money and Spending Behavior – Looking for new ways to save money? Consider asking for new bills the next time you withdraw money at the bank. While it’s well-accepted that currency denomination influences spending, there’s now evidence that the appearance of your money may be even more important.

Dividend Growth Investor @ Dividend Growth Investor writes Five Things to Look For in a Real Estate Investment Trust – There are five factors I analyze at a REIT, before putting my money to work in the sector. I used three REIT’s I own in this exercise in order to illustrate my strategy in action.

Bryan @ Gajizmo.com writes Best Paying Jobs For Women – Gender inequality is still an issue in America, but there are still certain careers that minimize the compensation gap and offer men and women relatively the same advancement. Healthcare continues to dominate the list of best paying industries for women, but what other jobs offer the highest pay?

MMD @ My Money Design writes Reader Debate – Would You Borrow Money to Invest in Stocks? – If real estate investors use other people’s cash to finance their investments, would it be wise for stock investors to borrow money to invest in stocks?

Arnel Ariate @ Money Soldiers writes 3 of the Best Budgeting Tips for Contractors – These are things that you need to do in order to stretch your cash in any job. Budgeting is an essential part of any financial plan and preparing a budget is essential to your contracting business.

Marvin @ Brick By Brick Investing writes Ridiculous Young Entitled Generation – My personal rant about a highschool senior who fills entitled to an Ivy League education.

Peter @ Bible Money Matters writes Work-Life Balance: More Time and Less Money – I started making more time for my son, but that pushed some work later into the night. It isn’t bad on some days. But between my full-time job and my side hustle, I can certainly see my side income slipping. Finally, I just decided that there were certain things I wanted to do, and that I wasn’t going to let the idea of making money overtake my family life.

Lynn @ Wallet Blog writes Home Warranties: Worth the Price? – A home warranty/home protection plan is a service contract that protects many of the appliances or systems (heating, plumbing, air conditioning) in your house in case they fail. They can serve as a security blanket of sorts to homeowners, particularly if you’re purchasing a home that is older or hasn’t had much in the way of upkeep over the past number of years.

Nick @ A Young Pro writes Recent Graduate Budget Infographic – I discuss the merits of an infographic aimed at helping recent graduates learn the basics of money management.

John S @ Frugal Rules writes Taking the Plunge: What the Hell Have I Done? – You learn a lot about yourself when pressed up against a wall. I found myself in this situation last summer after starting our business. By persevering through it I was able to grow and seeing the value of not giving up on oneself

Marie at FamilyMoneyValues @ Family Money Values writes WOMEN NEED MORE ECONOMIC POWER – Lack of economic power has forced women into lives of sexual slavery. Lack of economic power has caused women to stay in abusive relationships.Lack of economic power has caused women to lack access to educational opportunities.

Justin @ The Frugal Path writes Find Your Financial path – Sometimes the hardest step is the very first one that you must take. This can be especially true with personal finances.

Glen @ Monster Piggy Bank @ Monster Piggy Bank writes Time is Money – What are you Sacrificing for Money? – What are you sacrificing for money? Is it Time? Or perhaps physical or mental health? It is a question that I think many people don’t bother to ask themselves, as they don’t feel that they are sacrificing anything.

Jacob @ Cash Cow Couple writes Why You Probably Can’t Afford a Dog – Unless you’ve stashed a mound of cash in the doggy fund, you should probably take a good hard look at the total cost of owning a new dog.

Mr.CBB @ Canadian Budget Binder writes Life, Money and Retirement-Skype Doesn’t Reach Heaven – Sometimes we need to ask ourselves why we work so hard for all the money we make and whether we are spending our time wisely. Pouring your life into one basket risks leaving behind potential memories that you might not be able to go back and get. Take time to evaluate your life, your priorities and your future.

Edward Antrobus @ Edward Antrobus writes Could You Live on Minimum Wage? – 4.4 million Americans live on minimum wage. SPENT is a game designed to show the tough choices made everyday by the working poor.

HOBBIES

Lazy Man @ Lazy Man and Money writes Thank You. I See You. – To the amazement of my fellow bloggers, I try to respond to every comment I get. It makes me sad when I see someone leave a comment saying, that they’ve been reading for years, but never left a comment. We can’t share a moment, if I can’t see you. If you have a question for me reach out and contact me… let’s connect.

Carolyn Henderson @ This Woman Writes writes Bruce Willis Knitting – Anyone who thinks that knitting is a sedentary, boring hobby doesn’t go about it the way I do.

CheapSKate @ ConsumerFu writes 25 Ways to Upcycle – At ConsumerFu we love turning trash into treasure. Don’ t miss this compilation of some of our favorite finds on Twitter.

Little House @ Little House in the Valley writes Making the Most of Your Small Garden Spaces – The good news is that with a few simple updates, you can create a beautiful garden, in spaces both big and small. Here’s a look at how.

GOOD EATS

eemusings @ NZ Muse writes Boyfriend in the kitchen: Beef and mushroom noodles

Tamar @ DeviledEggs101.com writes No Mayo And Deviled Eggs – Like all our other favorite recipes, it is important to be able to substitute unhealthy ingredients with healthier ones. With summer around the corner, many of us are trying to shape up and trim down for bikini season. Here is a Deviled Eggs recipe that replaces mayo with healthier alternatives.

Alexis @ FITnancials writes Stuffed Bell Peppers Recipe – Hello everyone! I am here to share with you one of my new favorite recipes. My boyfriend and I were recently talking about how we don’t really eat too healthy when we are together, so we decided to start making healthy dishes at home instead of eating out. Our first dish together was Stuffed Bell Peppers. This recipe was so delicious!

We hope you enjoyed this edition of the Lifestyle Carnival.  If you have a blog post to share you can submit it to the next edition using this handy carnival submission form.

The frugal shopper’s guide to protein

Protein is one of the most important nutrients in our diet.  It is the one responsible for growth and bodily repair.  It is also one of the most expensive nutrients, which is why the protein part of your meal (the meat) costs the most.

But wait!  Not all protein is as expensive as your filet mignon.

So I set out to put together a short study of the various sources of protein readily available and their cost, as much for my own use as for blogging here.  The goal is to find out how I can get a complete serving of protein for under a dollar.

I used the assumption that a complete serving is 20 grams, although you might want more right after a workout…and also you should have some between meals, because 60 grams of protein per day is pretty low.

Before reporting the results of my study, I must offer two big caveats:

  • First, I am strictly reporting on the cost of various sources of protein.  I am not judging the value of the sources, some of which might have a lot more fat or sodium than others, or a lot more other important nutrients than others.
  • Second, prices vary.  They vary from store to store.  They vary over time.  They vary from brand to brand or even from package size to package size.  I attempted to report pricing based on the most common package size available at regular grocery stores.  Specialty stores might sell for more, discount stores for less – and, of course, you can always get your protein for less by watching for sales, couponing and all the other sorts of things that a frugal-minded shopper will do.

One last thing before reporting the results, because I really need to get this off my chest…

funny gifs
Yes, trying to convert back and forth between grams and kilograms and ounces and pounds and cups and… Aaauurgghhh!

Well, now that that’s over with, here are the results:

Copy this code to publish this table on your site:

 

So you can see that there are several fairly frugal alternatives to steak. For instance, making a milk shake or a smoothie with protein powder allows you to control both the taste and the levels of other nutrients. I often add some protein powder to “milk shakes” (mostly fruit, some milk and just a little ice cream) as a snack for my kids.

Peanut butter is also quite inexpensive, although pretty high in fat. Peanut butter on a whole grain bread gives a nice between-meals level of protein.

Do you enjoy mixed nuts? Very healthy, great for protein, but not great for fat if you eat too much of them. Make sure you have plenty of peanuts and dry soy beams in the mix – a great frugal way to add protein, and the soy beans will dilute the overall fat content.

READ ALSO: Get a $1000 Raise With Your Personal Fast Food Outlet

Turkey and canned tuna are still the cheapest meat sources of protein. Both make great sandwiches or great salad toppings.

Chick peas and lentils are both also quite cheap and very healthy. Both go well in pretty much any salad or soup, and most meat dishes. The only problem with them is that to get enough protein form them alone, you would have to eat an awful lot. However, they are not complete sources of protein, so they would need rice or bread or some other grain with them, anyway.

Rounding out the under-a-dollar sources of protein are eggs, milk and chicken. Most people drink milk anyway for the vitamin D and the calcium, but it can also be a great source of between-meals protein. Chicken is very similar to turkey, but usually pricier (although often on sale – hint, hint). And eggs are packed with other nutrients, too, and if you don’t mind it turning out more like scrambled eggs, you can usually squeeze more veggies into an omelet than eggs.

As for the rest of the protein sources, some of them are also very healthy in many ways, but they will cost more. So if you are committed to frugal, there is only one thing you can do about these – watch for coupons and specials.

 

Quirky ways to save money on your car

I am sure you have heard all the “usual” ways to save money on your car.  Lets’ breeze through them quickly to refresh your memory…

  • Shop around before buying.
  • Buy a smaller car.
  • Check insurance costs before deciding what to buy.
  • Shop around for insurance.
  • Pay cash rather than a car loan.
  • Drive slowly to conserve gas.
  • Keep your car well-maintained.
  • Keep the trunk empty to save gas.
  • Keep tires inflated.
  • Don’t idle.
  • Car pool.
  • Combine errands.

Did I miss any?  Probably a few.  All great advice, of course.  But these “usual” ways to save money on your vehicle are fairly > yawn < boring.  How about some fresh, quirky, exciting ways to save big bucks on your vehicle or with your vehicle?

Let’s start with something tame.  Turn the air conditioning on at high speeds.  Why?  Because the wind drag gets more as your speed gets higher.  And wind drag can really eat up fuel.  So on the highway, keep the windows closed and the air conditioning on.

But in the city, roll down the windows and turn off the air conditioning.  Why?  Air conditioning does use up energy, and lowered windows do not use up energy at low speeds.

So you can save money at high speeds one way, and save money at low speeds another way.

OK, ready for something just a little more quirky?

Don’t buy a red car.  Yes, police officers are racist when it comes to cars – even if they don’t think they are.  Research has shown that police are more likely to give a speeding ticket to the driver of a red car than to drivers of other cars going the same speed.  No – wait!  It turns out police like red cars; they hate grey cars.  It’s all psychological of course – all except the ticket you have to pay.

Walk.  Or bike.  Or skateboard.  OK, that’s not too quirky, but keep in mind that if you walk most places or take the bus and you own a car, you should drive it at least once a week.  That keeps all the moving parts under the hood well-lubricated.  Sometimes when you don’t drive a car for a few weeks, things stick.  Sometimes very badly.  Sometimes costing a lot.

But wait!   A car is a costly beast to maintain.  If you typically don’t drive it more than once every two weeks, maybe you could save money by joining a car-sharing program or even just renting a vehicle when you want to travel outside of your usual haunts.

Here is one that is a little off the wall and surely not one that we can recommend.  Call in sick more often.  Every time you stay home instead of driving to work, you save on gas, wear-and-tear and mileage on your vehicle.  If you call in sick an extra five times a year, you could save a few hundred dollars. A job is supposed to earn you money, but in fact you lose money by going in to work when you could stay home with the Activated Recessive Influenza (or whatever disease you invent).

OK, last one.  Live in your car.  This is, of course, pretty extreme.  But what about just temporarily, using your car as a hotel?  Friends of mine actually did this.  They travelled to Costa Rica and instead of having to search for a place to stay each night, they rented an SUV that could accommodate them at night.  They paid less for the car rental than they would have paid for a combined smaller car rental and accommodations, plus they spent more time enjoying the countryside and less time arranging accommodations.

All it takes to save money on your car is some discipline and the willpower to be quirky.  Do you have what it takes?

 

Stay grounded or reach for the stars?

You may have heard the saying that you should reach for the stars.  It comes out in different ways…

Leo Burnett said: “When you reach for the stars you may not quite get one, but you won’t come up with a handful of mud either.”

Mike Tyson said: “I’m a dreamer. I have to dream and reach for the stars, and if I miss a star then I grab a handful of clouds.”

Les Brown said: “Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you’ll land among the stars.”

It has been said in many other ways, but the idea is that if you aim high enough, even failure is amazing. Even failure becomes a success.

But Emil Zatopek , a middle distance runner from the Czech Republic, has a different take on it: “You can’t climb up to the second floor without a ladder. When you set your aim too high and don’t fulfill it, then your enthusiasm turns to bitterness.  Try for a goal that’s reasonable, and then gradually raise it. That’s the only way to get to the top.”

So which is it do you set your sights on the stars and aim high?  Or do you keep your eyes just one step ahead and aim for the next step.  I know when I climbed Mount Washington, at a certain altitude we were in the clouds.  We kept climbing and climbing and climbing…and still all we could see was a few feet up.

The mountain seemed endless.  We could not aim high because we could not see more than a few feet ahead.  Did that work for us?  Yes.  Would seeing the top of the mountain have worked for us.?  I am sure it would have.

READ ALSO: Zig Ziglar (1926-2012) Motivational Quotes

What is the moral of the story?  I am not sure.  But I think it helps to have a lofty dream, to keep the big picture in mind.  I think knowing where you want to end up gives you motivation and inspiration to get up each day and get in the game.

But I also think that when it comes to actually putting your foot forward, you need to keep your eyes on the ground.  Each action needs to be measured on its own merit.

Big goals.  Small steps.  Why not have both?

 


Poetic Happiness

This poetic guest post is from Rodrigo Silva

HumanKind searches for happiness on things they can see and touch
when in fact happiness can´t be seen and is untouchable
and because of that , it can be stable and endless
but instead people have been building up illusions and putting their hopes on things that can end tomorrow .

 


if there´s one thing I learned , is that life will always find news ways to try to bring us down and make us feel hopeless and without strength
but I also learned that it´s from the most difficult obstacles , the hardest disappointments and the biggest problems that we can get a wide range of knowledge and courage ……
but if they´re not put into action , they become empty and so does hopes
wisdom is way more than only knowing , it´s about acting
strength is way more than having the courage , it´s about battling .

 

As unbelievable as it may seem to some people
peace can be achieved
but not without battling , running away only makes the emotions that destroy our chances of being happy  grow bigger and stronger while we get weaker , because happiness isn´t about having everything good in life , it´s about turning the bad things that appear on the way into opportunities to get the best we can from them , we should get  our wisdom and strength from them , instead of them feeding on our weakness and lack of faith .

There´s a wonderful world that can be built within
that can´t be destroyed by anything
but it must be built based on the things that really matter
the ones we can´t see or touch
but would get ourselves and our lives from the bottom to the top .

Rodrigo’s biography :

I´m a person who learned from my mistakes ,
built up strength during hard times
and found happiness where once was dark and void
Life was doing everything to make me stay on the darkest bottom
but I rose up and found light .

my blog is called Land of Glory : http://www.journeytoyourendless.blogspot.com

Time to say goodbye

For Wordless Wednesday, let me share with you a video of Chantalyne singing “Time to say goodbye” last weekend.  This performance earned her the title of Vars Idol 2013 (a father’s right to brag a little).

 

(Somehow the embed seems to have stopped working. The video on YouTube is at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rPG-nX_jmoQ.)

Three rebukes people eagerly give that you should ignore

Society has norms. That’s how we all get along. And when people around us break those norms, we sometimes feel a bit threatened, a bit uncomfortable. I am not talking about norms that are put into law for people’s safety, like murder or rape. I mean things that are simply considered by most people to be “inappropriate”.

And most of us are really quick to chide those who violate those norms. Oh, sure, most of us do so only in our heads. And when we do so out loud, we try to do so “good naturedly” so as to appear less rude than we really are being. But let’s face it, we all say or think such admonishments.

But sometimes, we reproach too hastily. Here are three very common, almost stereotypical rebukes that we would do better to keep to ourselves – and that you would be best to ignore if they are launched at you.

Get a job!

In many cases, this is more like a curse, an insult or a threat. I am not saying that nobody should have a job, but if God has graced you with the skills and opportunity and character to follow your passion without a job, so much the better.

By way of background, there are very few people with total freedom. A few people are almost self-sufficient in their homesteading and a few people are independently wealthy. The rest of us have to barter with other people to get the things we need or want.

I am self employed. I have am still dependent on other (my clients) and so much of what I do is governed by their needs. But I am much freer than someone who has a job.

Even amongst job-holders, there is a big difference one’s level of freedom. A teacher has no choice about what hours he works or what days he takes for vacation; his tasks depend on coordinating his schedule with everybody else. A clerk at a large store can usually choose shifts and co-ordiate vacation days with other people.

A freelancer can work whatever hours he wishes. What a cruel thing it would be to tell him to “Get a job!”

If you live to teach, if that is your passions and that is your fulfillment, you have no choice but to trade in some of your freedom, and you most likely feel it is totally worth while. But if you are doing something else that you find fulfilling, if you are following your passion, ignore the ill-advised advice of the get-a-job crowd.

Need a freelancer?  Click here.

Get a room!

I have no idea where this comes from. Two people are passionately kissing and everybody starts thinking “Get a room!” And often somebody will say it.

Why?

Are passion and love and romance and affection things we find distasteful? Apparently we do when it is done in our presence. I am not sure where our discomfort comes from. Perhaps it is envy or jealousy – that it is too vivid a reminder of how our own lives lack that level of passion and excitement.

I think public display of affection is a good thing. Rather than hide what we don’t do enough of, so that we can feel smug in our own comfort zones, why not be reminded of romance? Why not be reminded that we could be a little more passionate? Why not pull us out of our comfort zones and increase our own levels of affection?

Sometimes discomfort is a bad thing. Sometimes it is a good thing. Don’t get a room; share your affection with the world.

Grow Up!

This is perhaps the worst common rebuke I know of. It is typically launched when someone is acting silly or childlike. When someone is not carrying herself with sufficient dignity or maturity, often (but not always) in public.

The problem – and yes, this is a big problem – is that when we become adults we often stop acting silly. We stop kidding around. We stop joking. We are told that we have to carry ourselves with dignity. We are conditioned to believe we have to act reserved. We stop laughing. Don’t look at me that way; how many times do you actually laugh out loud in a typical day? Not nearly enough for your own basic health.

If anybody ever tells you to grow up, there is one thing I recommend you do: laugh!

Name Your Tune

Just in time for Wordless Wednesday, here comes a “scriptless” film. This film, co-staring Alison Postma and Chantalyne, comes with a message: the importance of making your work your own. Don’t just copy someone else’s work; build on it. Put yourself into it. Make it your own.

 


Please note that this video has also been cross-posted at http://www.seo-writer.com/writers/index.php/2013/01/09/scriptless-with-chantalyne/