Wrong direction

A father and his son, a young adult, were driving to the cottage. The father was worried, because his son had fallen into companionship with people who might lead him astray, and he was trying to help his son see that it was time for him to take his life a little more seriously.

“Aw, dad, I know you mean well, and I know I’m not really doing you proud, but I like to party. I’ll get on the right track some day. I don’t need to worry.”

They drove a little further, when suddenly the son said, “Hey dad, that was the turnoff for the cottage. You missed the turnoff.”

“I know,” said the father. “I think I’ll just keep driving this way for a while. I can always go back later to take the right road.”

A few more minutes – and a couple turnoffs – passed. The son began to think of the swimming he would miss if they arrived too late. “Dad, the farther you go down this road, the longer it will take to get back.”

The father replied, “That’s true. The further you go down the wrong track, the harder it is to get back. So when were you thinking of turning your life around to head down the right track?”

Where do you want to go? What do you want out of life? Most importantly, what are you waiting for?

Supporting self-sufficiency for Kenya’s poor

As suipporters of the 12for12k charity innitiative, we are proud to introduce the April charity we are supporting.  Yehu.org is a microfinance organization in the rural coastal region of Kenya for the poor, run by the poor. It provides financial and other support services for small businesses owned by very poor people.

Yehu operates in conjunction with Choice Humanitarian, an international NGO specializing in village development. It was created based on the principles and procedures of the world-renowned Grameen Bank.

Yehu Microfinance works with BasaBody and Coast Coconut Farms to empower poor rural entrepreneurs in Kenya to help create a sustainable living for themselves. This is done through enhanced accessibility to sustainable financial services, business opportunities, and skills training.  In other words, we are not giving them fish; we are giving them fishing rods so that they can catch their own fish.  This is the part I really like.  From a “happiness” perspective, we are helping people both materially and psychologically, by giving them the means to create a worthwhile life for themselves.

Please contribute:

Limerick – Happy Parents

This one is for all the parents and soon-to-be parents reading.  If you don’t already have a sense of humor, now is a good time to get one.  You’re going to need it.

Parenting is pure happiness.
Full of mumminess and pappiness
You jump for joy
When you hear “It’s a boy”
And the room is filled with clappiness

But one thing leads to another, and the story continues a few years down the road…

Before long I’m willing to wager
You’re living with a teenager
You pray for the day
That he moves away
To study full time or his major

Feel free to add your own limericks to complete the story or to add a fresh perspective (one can never have too many limericks, can one?).  Let’s see how creative you can be.  After all, what follows are sleepless nights, first steps, birthday parties, ballet lessons and hockey games… all the way until those days when you find yourself in the empty nest.

Truth and vision

“Your neighbor’s vision is as true for him as your own vision is true for you.”

In these few words, Miguel de Unamuno makes us think a bit about our natural self-righteousness. We tend to think that our visions are “truth”.

Truth is that when a rock hits your head, the skull cracks open. Vision is that hitting a rock against a head is wrong, because it is killing.

Yes, read that again. That is vision, not truth. In fact, most people accept that killing is right in some instances. Such as killing fellow creatures to eat them. Or killing tyrants who torture or kill others. We kill in war and sometimes as punishment. Some people agree with these actions; some disagree. That is because people have different visions.  But the truth is not what is different, just the interpretation of the truth and the opinions of it.

We don’t have to agree with other people’s visions, but if we want to get along without a whole lot more killing, it sure would help if we respected other people’s visions a little more than we do now.  Well, except perhaps the vision that it is a good idea to go around killing people.

Live Like You Were Dying

As a follow-up to yesterday’s blog post on dying to be happy, I thought I would share with you the lyrics from Tim McGraw’s song, “Live Like You Were Dying”, which just played on Y101 A few minutes ago.

He said I was in my early forties
with a lot of life before me
when a moment came that stopped me on a dime
and I spent most of the next days
looking at the x-rays
Talking bout the options
and talking bout sweet time
I asked him when it sank in
that this might really be the real end
how’s it hit you when you get that kinda news
man what’d you do

and he said
I went sky diving
I went Rocky Mountain climbing
I went 2.7 seconds on a bull named fumanchu
and I loved deeper and I spoke sweeter
and I gave forgiveness I’d been denying
and he said someday I hope you get the chance
to live like you were dying.

He said I was finally the husband
that most the time I wasn�t
and I became a friend a friend would like to have
and all the sudden going fishin
wasn’t such an imposition
and I went three times that year I lost my dad
well I finally read the good book
and I took a good long hard look
at what I’d do if I could do it all again

and then
I went sky diving
I went Rocky Mountain climbing
I went 2.7 seconds on a bull named fumanchu
and I loved deeper and I spoke sweeter
and I gave forgiveness I’d been denying
and he said someday I hope you get the chance
to live like you were dying.

Like tomorrow was a gift and you got eternity to think about
what’d you do with it what did you do with it
what did I do with it
what would I do with it?

Sky diving
I went Rocky Mountain climbing
I went 2.7 seconds on a bull named fumanchu
and then I loved deeper and I spoke sweeter
and I watched an eagle as it was flying
and he said someday I hope you get the chance
to live like you were dying.
To live like you were dying
To live like you were dying
To live like you were dying
To live like you were dying

Dying to be happy?

Short blog post today. This little message says it all…please don’t let this happen to you.

Fighting Mad

Is there a good reason to fight?  Most people will say yes, Mahamta Gandhi notwithstanding.  It is just to fight in the cause of justice.  The rational for Western nations removing the Taliban from Afghanistan was to free women from slavery and all Afghanis from various levels of opression.   Most people in the world, whether they like the war or not, seem to agree that this sort of situation justifies fighting.

Beyond saving people from opression, slavery and torture, is there any reason why fighting should be tolerated?  I suggest not.  The fact is that fighting does nothing to reduce anger.  Acting upon one’s anger actually feeds the anger, as I wrote in Climb Your Stairway to Heaven: the 9 habits of maximum happiness.  Yet fighting persists, despite common sense and criminal laws against assault.

The latest on this is in a Maclean’s article that rips away the ludicrous arguements that keep grown men fighting in the NHL (National Hockey League).  The death of player Donald Sanderson is bringing the issue to the surface again, but seems to be falling on deaf ears amongst NHL leadership.   My question is, “What planet do these guys live on?”

Actually, I have two other questions, which I wrote as follows in a letter to the editor of Maclean’s:

There are two big questions to answer.  First, fighting is not “part of the game”.  In fact, it is against the rules; that’s why there are penalties against it.  The only question for the leagues is whether the penalty matches the crime.  And that raises the second question, because there are already penalites in Canada for punching someone, which is a crime called “assault”.  Why do thousands of police officers, night after night, watch live broadcasts of crimes in progress and in recent memory only Marty McSorley and Todd Bertuzzi were charged?

So what can you do?  back off from potential fights.  Don’t express your anger with fists or harsh tones of voice.  As I said to my daughters this morning, “At 5 and 7 years old, don’t you think you girls can control your body parts?  Isn’t it a bit embarrassing that you let your hand hit your sister and your tongue shout mean things you know you shouldn’t?”

Those Who Care

I am copying this straight from a pass-around email I received recently.  It’s good, so I thought I would share it with you.

The following is the philosophy of Charles Schultz, the creator of the ‘Peanuts’ comic strip. You don’t have to actually answer the questions.Just read the e-mail straight through, and you’ll get the point.

1. Name the five wealthiest people in the world.

2. Name the last five Heisman trophy winners.

3. Name the last five winners of Miss America .

4. Name ten people who have won the Nobel or Pulitzer Prize.

5. Name the last half dozen Academy Award winners for best actor and actress.

6. Name the last decade’s worth of World Series winners.

How did you do?

The point is, none of us remember the headliners of yesterday. These are no second-rate achievers. They are the best in their fields. But the applause dies. Awards tarnish. Achievements are forgotten.
Accolades and certificates are buried with their owners.

Here’s another quiz. See how you do on this one:

1. List a few teachers who aided your journey through school.

2. Name three friends who have helped you through a difficult time.

3. Name five people who have taught you something worthwhile.

4. Think of a few people who have made you feel appreciated and special.

5. Think of five people you enjoy spending time with.

Easier?

The lesson: The people who make a difference in your life are not the ones with the most credentials, the most money, or the most awards. They are the ones that care.

Money, Greed and Happiness

I want to share with you the message that was sent out today to subscribers of A Daily Dose of Happiness.  This is particularly timely because of the credit crunch that is making everyone suffer, but if you are a sensitive sort, you might not want to read any further; I am about to rain on most people’s parade.

The credit crunch is a product of – let’s not mince words – greed.  All of our greed.  We wanted more, more, more (SFX: maniacal laughter in background).  Well, we got more, more, more than we could ever hope to throw away without even opening the excess packaging.  Sooner or later we have to pay for it.  Sooner or later has arrived.

Today’s Daily Dose of Happiness Message 

You know that whole debate about money buying happiness. It gets overly simplified, like far too many things.

I recall attending a Zig Ziglar seminar a few years ago. He said, “Money is not the most important thing in life, but it comes reasonably close to oxygen.”

His point is well taken, but how much oxygen do you need? There is a point at which more oxygen can be a life-saver. There is also a point where more oxygen becomes overkill.

Likewise with money. The first dollar you make this year will be very, very important for your happiness. At some point, when your basic needs are secured, the value of money starts falling dramatically. The 100,000th dollar you make this year will likely bring some extra momentary pleasure, but is unlikely to  actually make you happier.

The key is to find the point at which money stops making you happier. Any investment of additional time to earn more money will actually reduce your happiness (more money that does not add to your happiness, less time that would have).

Any further compromise of values or principles required to earn more money will likewise reduce your happiness (more money that does not add to your happiness, less integrity that would have).

Instead of accepting that we have to pay for all the excess of the past couple decades, we want the government (that’s us, remember?) to buy us even more excess.  Yes, we in the Western world really are embarassingly spoiled rich kids.  The problem, as any credit counselor can tell you, is that you cannot spend your way out of debt.   And as we dig our way into even greater debt, I just cannot see how that creates more happiness.  I fear we are collectively handing over the keys to what I call “The Merchants of Misery” in my book, Climb Your Stairway to Heaven.