Some things are just not about you

There are some things that are beyond your control. You might not get the job or win your true love or make the sale…and it might just have nothing at all to do with you. No use gnawing on the bone – get back out there and try again.

My daughters love to perform. They both dance. They both sing. They both ham it up. And they have been through several auditions for TV, movies and educational videos. So far, none of the auditions have made them into superstars. In fact, there has not been a single call-back.

In some cases, I can guess what might have been the reason. There are often numerous factors that are stated in the call for auditions, and often one of my daughters meets most of those, but not all. In some cases, the requirements seem contradictory (like when they asked for a girl of about nine years old for a role that was stated as sixth grade (typically, eleven years old).

In other cases, I have no idea why my daughters were not chosen, and I will never know. The casting directory might have had in mind someone with darker hair. Or lighter. Someone shorter or taller, thinner or plumper, more confident or shyer…who knows? Maybe it’s the audition process itself.

Who gets cast in Barney?

Have you ever noticed the one thing that almost all the children on Barney and Friends have in common? Sure, they are all cute. But what specific cute trait do they all have in common?

Toothy grins
They all have big, toothy grins. If you know the show, you know there is no point auditioning if your smile isn’t 90 percent teeth. But if you didn’t know the show, you would have no idea that you never qualified in the first place.

Tweet this quote: “When you get passed over, it might have nothing to do with you.”

So it is for a new show or a movie – we have no idea what unspoken factor the casting director has in mind. When you don’t make the audition, it does not mean you are a poor actor. It might have absolutely nothing to do with you.

If you don’t get the job, it might just have been chemistry. Or it might be that someone who is the perfect fit also interviewed.  Or the interviewer might have been distracted at the time of the interview.

You just have to brush it off.  Somebody else got the job, or they decided not to fill the position.  That is not a judgment of your skills or talent, nor a dismissal of your worth.  It is simply a sign that says you should look elsewhere.

Take this self-esteem test.



  1. So, if it’s Barney your kids were going after I think they are way ahead of the game by NOT making the team…
    Seriously, though, it’s the fun of the chase that keeps them going.

  2. “When you get passed over, it might have nothing to do with you.” Love the quote. Great article as usual

  3. Great post, David! Especially in the arts, it is very important to develop a thick skin. I acted a little when I was younger (I wasn’t going to be the next Brando, but I was very good at committing to a role), and I remember that my brother tried out for a couple of plays. In the last one he tried out for, he didn’t get the part, but the director later tried to create a role for him, which he turned down. I auditioned for the older brother but got the younger brother instead. I might have been a little disappointed, but I still liked doing the play, which turned out to be the most successful in our tiny hometown’s history. I guess the bottom line is to remember that sometimes, we have to remember that it’s not just about being good or even the best, but when there are dozens of qualified applicants for only one spot, there are going to be plenty of very good people who get turned down.

  4. Good points on why some people are chosen or singled out while others are not…I agree, we have to keep moving forward. Your daughters sound great!

  5. So, if it’s Barney your kids were going after I think they are way ahead of the game by NOT making the team…

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