Those Who Care

I am copying this straight from a pass-around email I received recently.  It’s good, so I thought I would share it with you.

The following is the philosophy of Charles Schultz, the creator of the ‘Peanuts’ comic strip. You don’t have to actually answer the questions.Just read the e-mail straight through, and you’ll get the point.

1. Name the five wealthiest people in the world.

2. Name the last five Heisman trophy winners.

3. Name the last five winners of Miss America .

4. Name ten people who have won the Nobel or Pulitzer Prize.

5. Name the last half dozen Academy Award winners for best actor and actress.

6. Name the last decade’s worth of World Series winners.

How did you do?

The point is, none of us remember the headliners of yesterday. These are no second-rate achievers. They are the best in their fields. But the applause dies. Awards tarnish. Achievements are forgotten.
Accolades and certificates are buried with their owners.

Here’s another quiz. See how you do on this one:

1. List a few teachers who aided your journey through school.

2. Name three friends who have helped you through a difficult time.

3. Name five people who have taught you something worthwhile.

4. Think of a few people who have made you feel appreciated and special.

5. Think of five people you enjoy spending time with.

Easier?

The lesson: The people who make a difference in your life are not the ones with the most credentials, the most money, or the most awards. They are the ones that care.

Tweet for better self-esteem

There is another excuse – oops, I mean another “reason” – why you should spend some time on Twitter or Digg or FaceBook or MySpace.

A recent study of 268 Michigan State University students reveals that those who use Facebook.com have higher self-esteem than students who don’t because they keep in closer touch with their friends.

Not surprisingly, the benefits of social media participation were most pronounced for thsoe who experience low self-esteem.  Social media gives them a means of entering into more productive interactions than they sometimes encounter in real life.  In fact, it allows them to easily make friends.

Does that mean that virtual friendships should take the place of real friendships?  Not at all.  But a healthy dose of virtual socialization makes a great supplement for people who are not already overly socially extended in real life.  In fact, it’s ideal for people like me who work from home.  But before heading out to Twitter or FaceBook or Digg, you might want to read this work-from-home fasion Q&A.  After all, you don’t want to meet new friends on Twitter wearing the wrong pattern pajamas, do you?

You can read the complete report on social media and self-esteem at http://jcmc.indiana.edu/vol12/issue4/ellison.html .

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Motivational songs – music that motivates

Some songs have the power to motivate.  The lyrics can be as powerful as any motivational speech.  The music can get our hearts pumping.  The words and tune can play in our heads all day long.

Below is a list of some of the best motivational songs (mostly English, some French and Spanish).  It is far, far from being a complete list, so feel free to add your favorites to the list using the comments form at the bottom.

Man in Motion (from St. Elmo’s Fire)

Makin’ It (from the short-lived TV show of the same name)

Ain’t No Mountain High Enough

The Greatest Love of All (the ultimate self-esteem song of all time)

Have a Happy (yes, Elvis)

Change of Habit (yes, also Elvis)

I Have Been Blessed (by Martina McBride)

Point of Light (the Randy Travers classic)

My Way (the ultimate classic motivational song by Paul Anka)

Et C’est Pas Fini (the theme song from Star Académie, 1996)

Peace of Mind (by Boston)

Standing Outside the Fire (by Garth Brooks)

Closer to the Heart (Canadian motivation )

Do You Know Where You’re Going to? (from the Mahogany)

There You Are (by Clink Black)

Une Promesse (by Cindy Daniel)

Lean on Me

Dream Never Dies (more Canadian Motivation)

Hold On (by Triumph…the song that helped me in my teen years)

Believe it or Not (from the Greatest American Hero TV show)

Una Cancion (RBD)

Living Out Loud (by Aaron Lines)

The Eye of the Tiger (from Rocky III, I believe)

All Fired Up (Pat Benetar)

Don’t Stop (another one that helped me during those roller coaster teenage years)

The Kid is Hot Tonight (by Loverboy)

If I rummaged through my MP3s, my CDs and my old record collection, I am sure I could find dozens of other motivational songs and possibly even some music that motivates without lyrics.  The one listed here are the ones that come to mind first for me.  But now, over to you.  What songs do you find most motivational?

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…added January 20, 2009:

What a Feeling (from the movie Flashdance)

I’m Alive (by ELO)

Hold on Tight (also by ELO)

Walk On (by Rea)

Swing on a Star (was that Bing Crosby)

On Top of the World (by the Carpenters)

I Will Survive (Gloria Gayner’s anthem)

Light in Your Eyes (by Leann Rimes)

We Are the Champions (by Queen)

Winning (by Santana)

Don’t Forget to Dance (by the Kinks)

We Shall Be Free (by Garth Brooks)

Free Will (by Rush)

The Rose (by Bette Midler)

Happiness has a rippling effect

Haven’t I always said it?  Happiness is contagious.  Just smiling at people in a room can pick up the mood of a room…and in the process help you keep your own mood up (because happiness is contagious whether you are giving or receiving).

Dr. Nicholas Christakis, professor of medical sociology at Harvard Medical School, and James Fowler are co-authors of a 20-year study called Dynamic spread of happiness in a large social network.  Here is the abstract of the study

Clusters of happy and unhappy people are visible in the network, and the relationship between people’s happiness extends up to three degrees of separation (for example, to the friends of one’s friends’ friends). People who are surrounded by many happy people and those who are central in the network are more likely to become happy in the future. Longitudinal statistical models suggest that clusters of happiness result from the spread of happiness and not just a tendency for people to associate with similar individuals. A friend who lives within a mile (about 1.6 km) and who becomes happy increases the probabilitythat a person is happy by 25% (95% confidence interval 1% to57%). Similar effects are seen in coresident spouses (8%, 0.2%to 16%), siblings who live within a mile (14%, 1% to 28%), and next door neighbours (34%, 7% to 70%). Effects are not seen between coworkers. The effect decays with time and with geographical separation.

In other words, it is in your own self-interest to make people around you happy.  Smiles, random acts of kindness, humor, music…adding all these uplifting features to your neighborhood will make your life better.  I wonder why the effect was not seen between coworkers; it really should have been, considering how close many people are to their coworkers, spending huge portions of their day with them and being incredibly affected by their moods.

 

Happiness is slowing down

Carl Honoré, author of In Praise of Slow, was a guest of Christine Louise Hohlbaum at the blog “The Power of Slow”.  Carl offered ten tips on how to slow down the pace of your life.  Here is that top-10 list: 

  1. Downsize your calendar.
  2. Question your inner speed demon.
  3. Take up a slow hobby.
  4. Stop clock-watching.
  5. Rediscover the joys of the table.
  6. Take a walk.
  7. Meditate.
  8. Consider an alternative approach to your health.
  9. Vacation slowly.
  10. Turn it off.

It is comforting to know that I do about half of these, although I am not totally sure that I want to slow down that pace of my life.  I am doing a lot of amazing things and I want to keep doing them.  I would like some things to stop happening – like when a car part goes “Boing!” or when some gadget stops working properly, but I am not sure how to avoid that (other than swearing off machines altogether).

For more details on each of the points listed above, you can read the complete interview here.

The happiest show on TV…

…is a blank screen.  According to a 31-year study of 30,000 people, TV sucks.  My wife won’t want to hear this, because she is tired of hearing me lecture about how I would rather do things than watch other people do things.  Of course, my idea of doing things is not always what the study says will bring most happiness, being somewhat of a hermit…

“TV doesn’t really seem to satisfy people over the long haul the way that social involvement or reading a newspaper does,” says University of Maryland sociologist John P. Robinson, the study co-author. “It’s more passive and may provide escape, especially when the news is as depressing as the economy itself. The data suggest to us that the TV habit may offer short-run pleasure at the expense of long-term malaise.”

Robinson and his research team compared the activities of people who described themselves as happy with people who described themselves as unhappy.  The unhappy people watched 20 percent more television than the happy people (no word on whether TV makes people unhappy or whether unhappy people tend to watch TV, but the correlation is unmistakable).  Those who considered themselves to be happy were more likely to:

  • be socially active
  • attend more religious services
  • vote
  • read more.

Surprisingly, physical activities and keeping active is not near the top of the list, although that would seem an obvious activity of happy people.

Interesting tidbit: the three articles I read on the study each quote different stats.  Geesh…sloppy journalism.  Here’s the original source:

http://www.newsdesk.umd.edu/sociss/release.cfm?ArticleID=1789

 

How to Influence People Around You

If you want to influence people, give them the right environment.  Of this there is no question.  Most recently, a study confirmed what we all knew about how they cleaned up New York City.  This line from The Globe and Mail a few days ago:

Urban decay is contagious because people generally behave badly when others in their neighbourhood do, say Dutch researchers whose article was published yesterday in the online journal Science.

This principle applies in the home and in the workplace, too.  If you leave things all over the house lying around in a mess or allow employees to get sloppy in their work habits, expect more and more of the same.  You can’t tell your kids to clean up, if their context is a mess.  OK, you can tell them, but it won’t get you anywhere.

On the other hand, if you want people to take pride in their work or keep the house tidy, apply yourself to the task first.  Pick up stuff around the house when others are not around.  And when they are, solicit their help in tidying up.  The tidier you keep it, the tidier they will, too.  And, the more attention they will focus on cleanliness and following rules and generally responsible behavior.

By the way, this is the same psychology I have repeatedly mentioned with regard to smiling.  The best way to brighten up your environment is to smile.  Your smile will be contagious.  And before you know it, you will notice that all those grumpy people you kept bumping into have given way to smiling, happy people.  Try not to bump into them.

Now imagine your home and your workplace.  Neat.  Clean.  Tidy.  And full of smiling faces.

Help Someone Else’s Memory

MEMORY

Are you frustrated because someone in your family keeps forgetting things or your information just does not sink in? Well, the more ways you deliver the information, the more likely he or she will remember.

Tell him, so that he hears.

Write it down for him to read.

Send a follow-up email (Yes, intra-home emails!).

Leave a voicemail for her, to remind her.

Show the situation in a way that she can act on what she sees, not just on what you tell her you see.

Ask what he thinks should be done. He will remember the conclusion he draws better than any solution you come up with for him.

If there is anything visual, such as a map or a cartoon or a diagram, draw it.  Use color.  Ask him if there is anything to add, as that will focus his concentration on what he sees.

So, “Honey, don’t forget to pick up milk”, “uh-ha” becomes….

1. Honey, don’t forget to pick up milk.

2. Here’s a reminder note (a drawing of a carton of milk … with a smile on it, perhaps)

3. Come to the fridge. See, there’s just a couple drops left, what do you think we should do?

No need to be frustrated when you can make sure that the forgetful one remembers.  And the more ways you communicate, the less chance he will forget.

Ups and Downs

Another Blog Post one from A Daily Dose of Happiness…and this one is ideal to forward to anybody who might be feeling a little down.  Share it with your Twitter and FaceBook friends, too.  Some of them will appreciate it…

Up escalator. Down escalator. No, that’s not the name of a new Dr. Seuss book. It’s a pairing of two very handy mechanisms that are both quite necessary. True, we could survive without escalators, but we would still need to go up and down stairs…you can’t just keep going up.

In life, we need both ups and downs. If you plan to chase happiness means that you’ll try to avoid all downs, you are in for trouble.

Downs are inevitable. Things happen that just don’t go your way, and human beings are hard wired to react. When someone close to you passes away or just goes away, you are supposed to feel down. When someone hurts you. When a friend fails. When you fail. When traffic is particularly thick or your wallet is particularly thin. There are so many times when you will feel down.

Yes, even the happiest people feel down.

But a happy person does not stay down long. A happy person moves fairly soon from mourning a loss to celebrating a life. From feeling like a failure to grasping the lesson and renewing his determination. From feeling frustrated to just letting the universe unfold.

Up. Down. They are both fine – the question is how long you stay down.