Funny Stories of Humor and Satire

April 29, 2010 by Leave a Comment

Welcome to my Humor and Satire Collection: articles that are supposed to be funny.Your challenge is to find one that really makes you laugh, then forward it to a friend to share the laughter.

Here they are, my humorous stories in no particular order (which is also kind of funny, don’t you think?)

The Art of Kissing
Kissing is the world’s favorite participation sport. Find out why.

Hotel Jokes Haunt My Nightmares
I used to lie awake in a lot of hotel rooms. Now I still lie awake remembering them.

Help with statistics
So many statistics. So many truths. Which ones are just stories?

Butterfly Crossing

An adventure in facial hair
See what happens when I grow a funny beard.

It’s a Sick Household
We do things as a family. That’s why we all get sick at once.

Vitamin Supplements in a Liquid World
It’s a worldwide liquidation, from soap to vitamins.

I am a Grinch
Funny how, by NOT wanting a present, I am a Grinch. That’s what I call humor.

What?!? No Bananas?
Find out how bananas and traffic both cast a glimpse of how expectations affect our happiness.

Hippo Rage (controlling rage)
Give up all hope of anger management when face to face with “hippo rage”.

That’s the Christmas Spirit
Is there a wrong way to keep the Christmas spirit all year long?

Clowns

A Bad Hairdresser Day
Why are hairdressers never held accountable for baldness growing in their care?

How NOT to Stop Bad Breathby David Leonhardt
There is a right way and a wrong way to stop bad breath. Guess which is funnier.

Flea Market-ing Lessons
Just what did The Happy Guy learn selling his books at the flea market?

My Career as a Hermit
Writers, stay-at-home parents and online marketing geeks – stories of a hermit.

The Pajamas Fashion Primer
If you work from home, you’ll need this fashion primer.

Work-from-home Office Policies
Why should “office workers” have all the fun? This is your policy manual for the home office.

Aging Gracefully (You’re How Old?!?)
Discover the shocking truth about aging gracefully, now and in the past.

Tiger and the Three Pigs (improving self-esteem)
A modern-day fairy tale about improving self-esteem, self-image and self-actualization.

Country Living Explained
City folk just don’t ‘get’ the country. Funny, this story won’t help one bit.

Hurry Up and procrastinate
Three cheers for the last minute … may it rest in peace.

Bigfoot CrossingGrassophobia
We can learn about overcoming our own fears by watching children overcome theirs.

Give generously and sleep better
Givers sleep better at night, right? Or do they?

Sharing The Happy Jar
A little extra effort can make a big difference. Make it personal.

Cleaned Up or Cleaned Out?
Wrestle with the anguishing question of when to give and when to protect yourself.

When Mother Comes to Visit
Just when Mom comes to visit, the house looks like a hurricane wandered through.

By Now, I’m a Expert at Memory Loss
Memory loss is common as we age, but The Happy Guy has discovered a surprising cause.

Painful Lessons from the Maternity Ward (our child-birth story)
Where has all the humor in childbirth gone? This is a funny story…honest!

How to tell if you are a literary snob
A humorous look at titles, status and self-actualization stories.

Mr. Cheapie’s Frugal Dining Tips
Learn how to save big money eating out at restaurants.

Mr. Cheapie’s Frugal Shopping Tips
Learn how to save big money while shopping.

Investing as a Sport
A humorous look at what the bears and bulls do to reduce our daily joy.

Foolproof Customer Service Strategies
A humorous story about customer service strategies that can’t possibly work.

Home of the Year
Discover what it takes to have the Home of the Year.

Unique Gift Ideas for the 21st Century
Before buying anybody a facelift for their birthday, read this!

The Surprising Value of Vultures
Humor: Even vultures have value.

My Book Contains “No Artificial Growth Hormones”
Satire: The Happy Guy wants to copy a biotech giant to hit it big.

Plastic Recycling Confusionby David Leonhardt
Why is it so hard to simply pollute a little less?

Happiness is … recycling dirty diapers
There’s more than one way to be happy in harmony with the environment.

Funny clowns in carSilver Linings Are Everywhere
A satirical look at the true story of how Viagra is helping the environment.

Extreme Fatigue Perpetuitis
Half humor, half deadly serious: learn about extreme fatigue.

The Official Pumpkin Cheesecake Recipe for Parenting
Having trouble following a recipe while parenting? This recipe is tailor-made for you.

Top Ten Tools for Writing Humor
Want to write a humor column? Here are ten tips from a humor columnist.

Squish, Climb, Splash: A Family Adventure Vacation
Humorous stories from vacationland.

Tearing Down The House
Learn the importance of time management through this home improvement project.

The Secret Weapon to Beat SARS
Find out how reducing stress can help you defeat disease and illness.

Leadership Secrets from Foreign Penguins
Want self-actualization success? Learn how six penguins achieved their goals using team leadership.

Beware radical mint enthusiasts
Jelly Beans and Toothpaste battle it out for flavor superiority.

No Happiness Without Patience
Instant gratification is out. Patience is in…and so are cavemen, in this humorous lesson.

Thank you for visiting The Happy Guy’s Humor and Satire Collection. We love to share our joy with others.

Filed Under: Fun Tagged With: , , ,

Happiness is travel

July 3, 2008 by 10 Comments

Yes, travel opens the mind to new ideas and new ways of seeing things.  And when we experience the wonders of this world, it can’t help but make a person happy.  And some travel opens the mind more than others.  For instance, if you take a tour of seven cities in seven days and stay in hotels, you will find you are passing your time with others from your country and seeing the sights, but not experiencing the people and the way of life.

On the other hand, if you do some work travel or stay in private homes, you are more likely to experience the real flavor of the place.

I took Little Lady for a trip to Hungary, where we saw some of the places her Nagymama grew up.  For a girl of (almost) seven, this was a very educational trip.  We stayed in an apartment and wandered pretty much on our own.  I would classify this as mid-way between a our and a real visit.  Just for fun, here are a few photos.

This is the moment she professes to be the highlight of her trip:

Even though I could tell that it was dancing to the street musicians…

And making new friends…

…even though she could not speak Hungarian with them…

…any of them!

But it was the dancing that she did the most. This was her favorite street musician, whom she patronized several times where Vaci Uta spills into Vorosmarty Ter.

She was a little less freewheeling with the food (can you say “McDonald’s” or “Pizza Hut”?), but we did enjoy palacsinta a few times together.

Filed Under: Fun

Poopified!

October 24, 2007 by Leave a Comment

No, this is not a parenting post, although we did call our youngest one “The Poopasaurus” during the first six months of her lives.  In fact, this is an article of gratitude, based on personal experience.

Yikes!  While momentarily distracted by a bird flying over head, I was shocked by the loud “thud!” that wallopped my windshield.  Could it be hostile artillery from an invading Martian army?  Could it be that the sky was finally falling as Chicken Little had predicted?  Was the Jolly Green Giant eating a sandwich overhead and being just a tad to careless for my comfort?

Poopified!After nearly a quarter of a second (but seeming much longer), it dawned on me where the huge splatter of green goo came from (not peas from the Jolly Green Giant’s sandwich, I assure you).  I should note that the carefree and obviously not-quite-civilized bird did not hit my roof with his generosity, nor the hood of my car.  Nor the top, bottom, right side or center of my windshield, for that matter.  He dropped his gift right square in front of my face.  Point blank at twelve o-clock.

As the earth-shattering thud reverberated through my mind, it struck me just how powerful that birdy-poop was.  I mean, that certainly was a wallop.  And the obvious question also struck me:

“Just how badly would I have been injured if there had not been a windshield?  What if I had been standing in a field contemplating the bees in the flowers and with no warning whatsoever my head had been poopified?”

Of course, I am immensely grateful for the inventor of the windshield.  What a marvelous device. And all the folks who built this one. Good job, guys.  They saved me from having to learn the hard way the answer to my question about the birds and the bees and the bird poop.

I’ll bet you take your windshield for granted. I’ll bet you see right through it…and when you can’t see right through it, you probably have some choice words and splash some colored fluid across the surface to wipe away anything you can see.

But your windshield is like a guardian angel – not just because they are both invisible unless you look very hard – but because they both protect you.

Unless, of course, you don’t believe in windshields.

But even if you don’t see the windshield, and even if you don’t want to see the windshield, it is worth being grateful for it. And have you giving a moment to think about all the things you do see and want to see, much more obvious than a windshield, that also deserve your gratitude?

Seat belts come to mind. Tires. But also garden hoses. Ovens. Hats. Let’s not forget rubber boots when the sea level rises in the puddles. Telephones. Belts. Oh, so many items to be grateful for.

Hmm.  I wonder if there is a market for anti-bird umbrellas…

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There’s More to Orlando than Disney

January 1, 2007 by Leave a Comment

As with so many tourist destinations, Orlando boasts a number of hidden gems often overlooked by visitors. Here are a few of them.

Don’t forget to take in some of the secret treasures of central Florida. Orlando is one of the top tourism destinations in the world. It features Walt Disney World, Universal Studios and Sea World. People come from every continent to take in these famous theme parks, and especially to meet Big Mickey. These theme parks have many nearby high end hotels and lower scale motels for the mass amounts of visitors who want to stay next to all the attractions without the hassle of driving.

But there is another Orlando, a city full of unexpected smaller attractions, that you might want to take in when you want something a little different or just a break from the crowds at Disney World.

Kissimmee Rodeo. No, that’s not a misprint. The rodeos of the west have come to the south-east – and they are just as much fun. Try this for something different.

ManateeInland manatees. People often forget that Florida is more than just one big theme park and the host to spring brake excess. It is also home to many natural wonders. Blue Spring State Park is tucked in between Orlando and Daytona Beach. Although it is an inland park, they have 153 manatees this season, more than ever before.

Private Villa Rentals. You don’t have to crowd the family into a cheap motel room in the Orlando region. Nowhere in North America are there so many private villas for rent (vacation home rentals). Look also for rental villas in Orlando.

Mystery Dinner. Half way between Orlando and Disney World, it’s no mystery why this show packs a full house. This is your chance to participate in a real murder mystery

Farm animal adventure. Every child loves to pet animals. No, it does not replace Walt Disney World, but it might make a nice little break in the middle of the Disney excitement, and it is just a short distance south of the Disney park.

Ahoy there, Captain. Not just the manatees have found their way inland. There are pirates in Orlando, and they offer an interactive family dinner spectacle.

Riverboat Cruise. It’s not the Mississippi, but the “Rivership Romance” cruises along the St. Johns River, providing a first-hand connection with Florida’s rich, natural heritage. Dining and dancing accompany the natural beauty.

A taste of Chicago. Don’t be surprised if you wind up eating with a gangster or two. Or if the police burst in on your dinner to make a bust. This is a living tribute to the legendary Gangland Chicago, and you are invited to participate in the action.

It’s a pity that these gems hide in the shadow of Planet Earth’s biggest theme park . You won’t want to miss Walt Disney World, but take some time out to see what others have missed. Your friends back home will be impressed.

Filed Under: Fun

Extreme fatigue

October 21, 2003 by Leave a Comment

When a twelve-year-old wakes up at 5:22 a.m., she sneaks downstairs and, with well-honed stealth shared only by jungle-cat predators, she quietly proceeds to adorn the kitchen with dirty dishes and spilled pancake batter.

However, Little Lady is just two years old. She does not do anything quietly – especially not waking up at 5:22 a.m. Which she did this morning … again.

Right now, spilled pancake batter would almost be a welcome surprise.