“Short people got…no reason.  Short people got…no reason.  Short people got…no reason to live.”

Remember that old Randy Newman song?  Good thing I don’t always pay attention to the lyrics.  And I think this diminutive giant will also ignore the finding of a new Gallup-Healthways Well-Being Index study.

The folks at Gallup have come up with data showing that below average height men are angrier, more irritable and more stressed than average.  On the other hand, they found that taller guys feel more happiness and enjoyment in their lives.

Well they didn’t survey me!

Here is a little something the folks at Gallup have to say about height and money:

“Alternatively, each additional inch of height has the same effect on reported life satisfaction as a four percent increase in family income.”

Since we know that money can’t buy happiness for most people, although it does alleviate frustrations and stress for those who are well-below the poverty line, does this mean that a really short person who gains an inch (high heels, anyone?) gets happier, but a taller person would not benefit from growing?

Probably.  But Gallup doesn’t say.  (Why don’t they ask the really interesting questions?)

What Gallup does say is that taller people make more money than short people  (NEWSFLASH: High ROI from high heels!), so could that explain why they are happier?

“People with more education have higher income and higher status jobs, and they earn more money. Money, in turn, is a powerful predictor of life satisfaction.”

Gee, Gallup.  Now my education and income aren’t good enough for you either?

Ladies, the news is a little less grim for you, perhaps because you are not expected to be as tall as I am, so at least you have an excuse.  But taller women still get all the good stuff, education, status, income, just with slightly less of a complex if you aren’t named America’s richest man this year.

Read into the report what you want, but I’m not paying attention.  I can make my own happiness.  And you can too!