When we hold onto resentment, the only person we are hurting is ourselves. Let go. Let go. Free yourself!
I love this quote by Carrie Fisher: “Resentment is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die.”
She talks about resentment, but I have pretty much said the same thing about anger and blame and hate. In fact, any negative feelings you hold toward someone else fits this quote well.
Why?
Because negative feelings hurt the feeler. In very few cases does the other person even know – and if she knows, doesn’t even care – that you hate her or resent her or blame her. But as long as you feel these things, you are burning up inside. These feelings are poison, and they will eat away at you – all the more so out of frustration that the other person isn’t dying from the poison you swallow.
Is there an answer to this problem? There is, but … you might not want to hear it.
Forgive.
You might not be able to forget, but you can forgive. Yes, pretty much everything can be forgiven, no matter how odious the crime. Forgiveness does not make anybody more or less guilty. Nor does it undo anything that has been done. But it does let you come to terms with what has happened and move on to live the rest of your life without a huge weight around your neck.
I am not saying that despicable criminals should not be brought to justice. I am saying that hating and resenting and blaming them won’t bring them to justice – but it will unjustly corrode your own self.
Makes a lot of sence, and loved that quote! we all got 1 live to live to the full so why waste time resenting!
Thanks for an inspirting post so will retweet
-Phillip aka socialphill
I agree that anger and resentment are toxic, this doesn’t just apply to criminals but even in relationships where one party resents the other it spells the beginning of the end.
If we are on Earth for a reason, it is to live, love and create.
Anything that gets in the way of these three things is counterproductive — and certainly the time we spend resenting another person or our own circumstances blocks the love and creativity in our own lives.
For some years I resented aspects of my upbringing for the faults I saw in myself. Then, I decided to simply forgive, and realize that my parents did the best they could, as most parents do. This freed me to address my lack of self-esteem and begin to find my way to ward living an authentic life.
Sometimes I think that’s easier to forget than forgive. We all make mistakes, and with some we need to learn to live with. The fewer the better.
Wonderful post. Thank you!
This reminds me of the saying that goes something like this: authentic expression stops when your comment/thought/feeling causes another person to feel hurt.
Resentment carries a certain energy that can be felt (including hurt or anguish), even if it’s a subliminal, almost imperceptible (etheric-like) feeling. The unseen world of energy is powerful; it has a big impact.
For me, blame feels like self-anger projected onto another person. We often blame those whose actions remind us of the very thing we have done (or thought of) that we’re not proud of or happy about.
And yes, forgiveness is key, starting with forgiving ourselves.
If there’s one thing I may see differently, it’s that hatred, anger or any other ‘negative’ feeling is important for us to experience. And that it’s not for any of us to judge another’s journey.
Hopefully, having such an unpleasant experience will trigger newfound self-awareness, inner healing and growth for the individual.
Thanks for the excellent points here!
This is so very true. We get angry at someone and hold onto it for days at a time and think that somehow this is an effective way of dealing with problems.
Let go of negative energy because we do not need to carry it.
Hi,
Holding on to ‘anger’ is corrosive. It blocks your ‘good vibes’, affects your flow & I’ve learnt this from
experience. Learn to let go of negative thoughts & emotions…….you will be a lot better off.
be good to yourself
David
When you forgive somebody . . . you’re spared the dismal corrosion of bitterness and wounded pride. For both parties, forgiveness means the freedom again to be at peace inside their own skins and to be glad in each others’ presence.