Archives for January 2013

Three rebukes people eagerly give that you should ignore

Society has norms. That’s how we all get along. And when people around us break those norms, we sometimes feel a bit threatened, a bit uncomfortable. I am not talking about norms that are put into law for people’s safety, like murder or rape. I mean things that are simply considered by most people to be “inappropriate”.

And most of us are really quick to chide those who violate those norms. Oh, sure, most of us do so only in our heads. And when we do so out loud, we try to do so “good naturedly” so as to appear less rude than we really are being. But let’s face it, we all say or think such admonishments.

But sometimes, we reproach too hastily. Here are three very common, almost stereotypical rebukes that we would do better to keep to ourselves – and that you would be best to ignore if they are launched at you.

Get a job!

In many cases, this is more like a curse, an insult or a threat. I am not saying that nobody should have a job, but if God has graced you with the skills and opportunity and character to follow your passion without a job, so much the better.

By way of background, there are very few people with total freedom. A few people are almost self-sufficient in their homesteading and a few people are independently wealthy. The rest of us have to barter with other people to get the things we need or want.

I am self employed. I have am still dependent on other (my clients) and so much of what I do is governed by their needs. But I am much freer than someone who has a job.

Even amongst job-holders, there is a big difference one’s level of freedom. A teacher has no choice about what hours he works or what days he takes for vacation; his tasks depend on coordinating his schedule with everybody else. A clerk at a large store can usually choose shifts and co-ordiate vacation days with other people.

A freelancer can work whatever hours he wishes. What a cruel thing it would be to tell him to “Get a job!”

If you live to teach, if that is your passions and that is your fulfillment, you have no choice but to trade in some of your freedom, and you most likely feel it is totally worth while. But if you are doing something else that you find fulfilling, if you are following your passion, ignore the ill-advised advice of the get-a-job crowd.

Need a freelancer?  Click here.

Get a room!

I have no idea where this comes from. Two people are passionately kissing and everybody starts thinking “Get a room!” And often somebody will say it.


Are passion and love and romance and affection things we find distasteful? Apparently we do when it is done in our presence. I am not sure where our discomfort comes from. Perhaps it is envy or jealousy – that it is too vivid a reminder of how our own lives lack that level of passion and excitement.

I think public display of affection is a good thing. Rather than hide what we don’t do enough of, so that we can feel smug in our own comfort zones, why not be reminded of romance? Why not be reminded that we could be a little more passionate? Why not pull us out of our comfort zones and increase our own levels of affection?

Sometimes discomfort is a bad thing. Sometimes it is a good thing. Don’t get a room; share your affection with the world.

Grow Up!

This is perhaps the worst common rebuke I know of. It is typically launched when someone is acting silly or childlike. When someone is not carrying herself with sufficient dignity or maturity, often (but not always) in public.

The problem – and yes, this is a big problem – is that when we become adults we often stop acting silly. We stop kidding around. We stop joking. We are told that we have to carry ourselves with dignity. We are conditioned to believe we have to act reserved. We stop laughing. Don’t look at me that way; how many times do you actually laugh out loud in a typical day? Not nearly enough for your own basic health.

If anybody ever tells you to grow up, there is one thing I recommend you do: laugh!

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Name Your Tune

Just in time for Wordless Wednesday, here comes a “scriptless” film. This film, co-staring Alison Postma and Chantalyne, comes with a message: the importance of making your work your own. Don’t just copy someone else’s work; build on it. Put yourself into it. Make it your own.


Please note that this video has also been cross-posted at


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Top 10 Hottest Psychologists of All Time

If you’ve read about the top 10 hottest poets of the 19th century, you may be wondering who the hottest great thinkers in other fields are. Psychologists aren’t necessarily known for their dashing good looks, but there have been a few rather attractive psychologists over the years. Here are ten of the hottest psychologists – male and female – of all time, in case you’re curious:

1. Virginia Johnson

One of the first psychologists to study human sexual response, we can thank Virginia Johnson and her former husband, William Masters, for much of what we know today about the diagnosis and treatment of sexual disorders. Ms. Johnson’s awe-inspiring beauty and depth of insight into human behavior easily make her one of the hottest psychologists of all time.

2. Lev Vygotsky

Vygotsy is one of the most famous and popular Russian psychologists. The research he did in the early 20th century in the fields of education and child development is still relevant today, and psychology students still study his theories regarding cultural-historical psychology. Not to mention, Vygotsky’s chiseled face is undeniably easy on the eyes.

3. Mamie Clark

In the 1940s, Mamie Clark and her husband, Kenneth Clark, founded a social service organization for children in Harlem and conducted groundbreaking research about children’s perception of race. Throughout her career, she worked tirelessly to help promote the psychological well-being of children in Harlem. Mrs. Clark’s kind heart and inquisitive mind weren’t the only things that stood out about her. Her stunning appearance was also known to turn more than a few heads.

4. Sigmund Freud

Sigmund Freud was the founder of psychoanalysis and is well-known for his theories about dreams and the human subconscious. Additionally, Freud’s distinguished appearance, innovative mind, and bravado made him swoon-worthy.

5. Anna Freud

Like her father, Sigmund, Anna Freud was a pioneer in the field of psychoanalysis. Much of her work specifically dealt with child psychology as it relates to psychoanalysis, and she devoted her career to promoting her father’s theories. Anna Freud didn’t just inherit her intellect from her father. She also inherited his good looks.

6. Dimitri Uznadze

Dimitri Uznadze paved the way for other psychologists in the country of Georgia in the early 20th century. He co-founded the Georgian Academy of Sciences and published several important books regarding psychology, pedagogy, and the nature of human thought. Pictures of Uznadze reveal his strikingly handsome face. It’s not difficult to imagine that Dimitri Uznadze was a lady-killer.

7. Sabina Spielrein

Sabina Spielrein stood out in the early 20th century as one of the few female psychoanalysts. Her work in the field of psychoanalysis is still discussed today, and she has been featured in a number of documentaries and historical movies about the advent of psychoanalysis. As a young woman, she caught the eye of Carl Jung, and the two psychologists had a torrid love affair. She is remembered for her intelligence and her graceful beauty.

8. Hans Eysenck

Hans Eysenck’s theories about race and intelligence were certainly controversial, but few can deny the influence of his theories in the realm of psychology. During his career throughout the 20th century, Eysenck published important books and research regarding smoking, intelligence, psychoanalysis, the media, astrology, and much more. In his younger days, Eysenck was quite handsome, with big brown eyes and a charming smile.

9. Margaret Mahler

Margaret Mahler is known for working with troubled children and attempting to heal their emotional afflictions with psychoanalysis. She published an extensive number of works dealing with child psychology and the cognitive development of infants. Mahler also possessed a sophisticated kind of beauty.

10. Philip Zimbardo

One of the few contemporary psychologists to make the list, Philip Zimbardo is tall, dark, and handsome, even at the age of 79. In the 1970s, Zimbardo’s controversial study of prisoners and prison guards illustrated the deleterious effects of prison on the human psyche and is often cited and discussed in academic communities. Philip Zimbardo is currently a professor of social psychology at Palo Alto University, and a post-emeritus professor of psychology at Stanford. We can assume that at least a few undergrads have had crushes on him during his tenure as a professor.

Each of the people on the list above should primarily be remembered for his or her contributions to psychology. However, there’s no harm in daydreaming about any of these psychologists when the mood strikes.

Casey Wheeler is a blogger and freelance writer for psychology news and education sites, including When she’s not writing and researching psychology, Casey likes to spend time with her twins and go camping. Please leave your comments and questions for Casey below!

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