Archives for February 2009

Is there a good reason to fight?  Most people will say yes, Mahamta Gandhi notwithstanding.  It is just to fight in the cause of justice.  The rational for Western nations removing the Taliban from Afghanistan was to free women from slavery and all Afghanis from various levels of opression.   Most people in the world, whether they like the war or not, seem to agree that this sort of situation justifies fighting.

Beyond saving people from opression, slavery and torture, is there any reason why fighting should be tolerated?  I suggest not.  The fact is that fighting does nothing to reduce anger.  Acting upon one’s anger actually feeds the anger, as I wrote in Climb Your Stairway to Heaven: the 9 habits of maximum happiness.  Yet fighting persists, despite common sense and criminal laws against assault.

The latest on this is in a Maclean’s article that rips away the ludicrous arguements that keep grown men fighting in the NHL (National Hockey League).  The death of player Donald Sanderson is bringing the issue to the surface again, but seems to be falling on deaf ears amongst NHL leadership.   My question is, “What planet do these guys live on?”

Actually, I have two other questions, which I wrote as follows in a letter to the editor of Maclean’s:

There are two big questions to answer.  First, fighting is not “part of the game”.  In fact, it is against the rules; that’s why there are penalties against it.  The only question for the leagues is whether the penalty matches the crime.  And that raises the second question, because there are already penalites in Canada for punching someone, which is a crime called “assault”.  Why do thousands of police officers, night after night, watch live broadcasts of crimes in progress and in recent memory only Marty McSorley and Todd Bertuzzi were charged?

So what can you do?  back off from potential fights.  Don’t express your anger with fists or harsh tones of voice.  As I said to my daughters this morning, “At 5 and 7 years old, don’t you think you girls can control your body parts?  Isn’t it a bit embarrassing that you let your hand hit your sister and your tongue shout mean things you know you shouldn’t?”

I am copying this straight from a pass-around email I received recently.  It’s good, so I thought I would share it with you.

The following is the philosophy of Charles Schultz, the creator of the ‘Peanuts’ comic strip. You don’t have to actually answer the questions.Just read the e-mail straight through, and you’ll get the point.

1. Name the five wealthiest people in the world.

2. Name the last five Heisman trophy winners.

3. Name the last five winners of Miss America .

4. Name ten people who have won the Nobel or Pulitzer Prize.

5. Name the last half dozen Academy Award winners for best actor and actress.

6. Name the last decade’s worth of World Series winners.

How did you do?

The point is, none of us remember the headliners of yesterday. These are no second-rate achievers. They are the best in their fields. But the applause dies. Awards tarnish. Achievements are forgotten.
Accolades and certificates are buried with their owners.

Here’s another quiz. See how you do on this one:

1. List a few teachers who aided your journey through school.

2. Name three friends who have helped you through a difficult time.

3. Name five people who have taught you something worthwhile.

4. Think of a few people who have made you feel appreciated and special.

5. Think of five people you enjoy spending time with.

Easier?

The lesson: The people who make a difference in your life are not the ones with the most credentials, the most money, or the most awards. They are the ones that care.